Hi, people! If I could drink right now, I would toast a glass of champagne, Cabernet, beer, koolaid or whatever your favorite drink is...to all of you! Nick and I feel so blessed to have had so many people supporting us during the last year and it's been heartwarming to get your messages of love and encouragement during this time. Thanks for being there for well, a lot of not so great times, and hopefully - a lot of amazing times to come!
Here's where you can find us from now on - http://bringingupbabyberger.wordpress.com/. Don't worry - all of the moderately funny stories and camera phone pictures you've come to know and love will continue on. :) Someone asked me what I am going to do with this blog...I think I'm going to find someway to turn it into a physical journal of some type...it seems like something we would want our kids to read some day.
You'll find on the new site we probably won't talk about the quads - it's just easier for us. Plus, there were already some creepy 'multiple freaks' coming out of the woodwork and trying to stalk me on Facebook, so I think it's best if we avoid all that, thankyouverymuch.
Again, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your prayers and friendship.
XOXO,
Sarah and Nick
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Musing and Moving
Hope everyone had a great weekend! I am currently sacked out in bed. It's surprisingly difficult to type with a cat trying to sleep on your head. I think I may have overdone it this weekend with activity because I'm exhausted now. More on that in my next weekly update, though. For now, though - a couple of things.
1.) I will no longer be writing on this blog in a few days. I know - sad, right? What will the world do without my mildly entertaining musings? Oh, don't worry - they'll still exist. Just at a new blog address. This blog has been such a great tool for keeping friends and family in the loop, but it's not necessarily for mass public consumption. I've been working on a new blog that will focus on our pregnancy and subsequently, what is sure to be our crazy life with twins. Probably some healthy recipes, too. What else can you expect? More crappy photography. Anecdotes about our cats. Witticisms and such. All the things you've come to expect at bringingupberger - just for a wider audience. I'll post the new address soon!
2.) One of the first things that happened to us when we found out we were expecting quads was an introduction into the local 'moms of multiples' community. A local quad mama reached out to me (through a connection with my infertility 'support group') and introduced me to so many wonderful local resources for families with multiples, as well as an amazing support group for quad moms all over the country. And though, we are not going forward with twins, Rebecca tells me 'once a quad mom, always a quad mom'. I am so grateful for her support and wisdom, as well as Stephanie's, another local mom of quads. Ladies, thank you so, so much!
3.) For many people, infertility is a really lonely journey. It's not something that's discussed openly in our culture and it wasn't until we faced it ourselves that I realized how many couples and individuals are suffering, desperate to start a family. I don't really know why it's so much more prevalent today - doctors say part of the reason is that couples are starting families later in life. I'm sure that's part of it, though I have to believe there is an environmental reason, as well. One of the true blessings in our own journey is that I never felt that we were facing it alone. Of course, our friends and family have been completely supportive and for that, we are eternally grateful. Moreover - as I think I've said before, in one group of friends alone, four of us are seeing the same reproductive endocrinologist (should have gotten a group discount!). It's been so great to have these women as a resource and sounding board. They are always there, texting, emailing and calling to check up on each other just to say 'hey, I'm thinking about you.'
But, I also had the great fortune to find my way to another group of women in November of 2010, who were all dealing with various infertility issues. And as time progressed, and my status as the Obi Wan of IVF was cemented, I was connected with many other women facing the same thing - all over the country. It's peculiar - we are all so different and come from various walks of life, yet the frustration and pain of infertility is so very universal. It's been a true blessing to see many of these friends get pregnant and have their babies, because even when I wanted so desperately to be in their shoes (and I would be lying if I didn't say there was jealousy at times), I knew the fact that they had come out on the other side okay meant that I would, too.
And so, even now - as I am sitting here 12 weeks pregnant and so very, very grateful to be so, there is a part of me that wishes from the bottom of my heart that all of the women I've become so close to could feel this feeling, too. I want this for them so badly and it makes my heart hurt to know they are still not there yet. I can't wait for the day that each of you finally see that magic second line, have your first ultrasound, see and hear the heartbeat (or beats!) and finally, I really can't wait for someday when all of our babies are playing together...and all of the pain and frustration feels like another lifetime. I will continue to be your cheerleader and no one will be cheering more loudly than me when your time comes. Sending all of you my love and prayers and good wishes - XOXO.
1.) I will no longer be writing on this blog in a few days. I know - sad, right? What will the world do without my mildly entertaining musings? Oh, don't worry - they'll still exist. Just at a new blog address. This blog has been such a great tool for keeping friends and family in the loop, but it's not necessarily for mass public consumption. I've been working on a new blog that will focus on our pregnancy and subsequently, what is sure to be our crazy life with twins. Probably some healthy recipes, too. What else can you expect? More crappy photography. Anecdotes about our cats. Witticisms and such. All the things you've come to expect at bringingupberger - just for a wider audience. I'll post the new address soon!
2.) One of the first things that happened to us when we found out we were expecting quads was an introduction into the local 'moms of multiples' community. A local quad mama reached out to me (through a connection with my infertility 'support group') and introduced me to so many wonderful local resources for families with multiples, as well as an amazing support group for quad moms all over the country. And though, we are not going forward with twins, Rebecca tells me 'once a quad mom, always a quad mom'. I am so grateful for her support and wisdom, as well as Stephanie's, another local mom of quads. Ladies, thank you so, so much!
3.) For many people, infertility is a really lonely journey. It's not something that's discussed openly in our culture and it wasn't until we faced it ourselves that I realized how many couples and individuals are suffering, desperate to start a family. I don't really know why it's so much more prevalent today - doctors say part of the reason is that couples are starting families later in life. I'm sure that's part of it, though I have to believe there is an environmental reason, as well. One of the true blessings in our own journey is that I never felt that we were facing it alone. Of course, our friends and family have been completely supportive and for that, we are eternally grateful. Moreover - as I think I've said before, in one group of friends alone, four of us are seeing the same reproductive endocrinologist (should have gotten a group discount!). It's been so great to have these women as a resource and sounding board. They are always there, texting, emailing and calling to check up on each other just to say 'hey, I'm thinking about you.'
But, I also had the great fortune to find my way to another group of women in November of 2010, who were all dealing with various infertility issues. And as time progressed, and my status as the Obi Wan of IVF was cemented, I was connected with many other women facing the same thing - all over the country. It's peculiar - we are all so different and come from various walks of life, yet the frustration and pain of infertility is so very universal. It's been a true blessing to see many of these friends get pregnant and have their babies, because even when I wanted so desperately to be in their shoes (and I would be lying if I didn't say there was jealousy at times), I knew the fact that they had come out on the other side okay meant that I would, too.
And so, even now - as I am sitting here 12 weeks pregnant and so very, very grateful to be so, there is a part of me that wishes from the bottom of my heart that all of the women I've become so close to could feel this feeling, too. I want this for them so badly and it makes my heart hurt to know they are still not there yet. I can't wait for the day that each of you finally see that magic second line, have your first ultrasound, see and hear the heartbeat (or beats!) and finally, I really can't wait for someday when all of our babies are playing together...and all of the pain and frustration feels like another lifetime. I will continue to be your cheerleader and no one will be cheering more loudly than me when your time comes. Sending all of you my love and prayers and good wishes - XOXO.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Week 10 and 11
Yeah, so. Got a little busy and left you all hanging....so you get a combo weekly update. Is this where I get to say I'm pregnant and shrug my shoulders and you can't get mad at me?
Speaking of combos...our little ones are doomed for a lifetime of combo birthday/Christmas gifts. We have learned that though my 'official' due date is January 7th...I will likely deliver somewhere between 36 and 37 weeks, which puts me at December 10th-December 17th -ish. Plus, there's two of them so they'll get combo birthday/Christmas/SHARED gifts. Nick and I were laughing the other day about wrapping up ONE soccer ball for birthday/Christmas and telling them they could share it. Hee! Although this is assuming we actually make it to 36-37 weeks; plenty of twin mamas go before that.
Other than devising plots to irritate and infuriate our children, we are doing very well! And by we - I mean, me, Sweetie Pie and Honey Bunch (gags at my own preciousness). I am nearly into the second trimester, which means I can look forward to the end of this horrendous nausea and never-ending fatigue. OH, WAIT. I skipped that part. I still have not gained any weight, but I DEFINITELY have a bump and I'm officially in maternity clothes and/or forgiving regular clothes, which phew - what a relief! I can't believe you pregnant people have been keeping these clothes to yourself. They should really be available to everyone as the comfort level is just unparalleled. Except for these. Those things are confusing and torturous. It is either constantly rolling up and revealing my unbuttoned pants or rolling down and revealing my butt crack. Either way, Not Very Classy. But good for those of you who figured it out. Anyway, I asked the doctor how far ahead women who are pregnant with multiples measure ahead (in terms of uterus size) and he said anywhere from 4-8 weeks, which makes sense, because I look at least 4 months pregnant. Although, admittedly there was just the teensiest tiniest bit of cushion there to start with. ;)
I went maternity clothes shopping with another pregnant friend this weekend and picked up a few things at a great sale. I don't want to spend a ton of money on stuff, but I also have an abiding need to be cute. :) We loaded up a couple of rooms with a ridiculous amount of clothes and paraded our outfits to each other. The sales attendant keep oohing and ahhing and eventually I asked her if she EVER told a pregnant woman that something didn't look good. To which her reply was "No, I just say 'I think we can do better'." I guess I should be glad I didn't hear that phrase. Also, maternity stores are awesome! Easily accessible bathrooms, free drinks and comfy chairs. Genius.
As a result of my belly bump, I had to announce to all of my co-workers because I could no longer get away with the "I had Chinese for lunch" excuse and really was getting tired of the side-eye. I have told many close friends and family members that I was pregnant and never cried once. So, OF COURSE, I chose to cry in front of 65 co-workers. Gah! Emotions. Anyway, everyone was very sweet and super supportive. And now I can wear maternity clothes to work unabashedly.
We'll be announcing to our extended family and friends in the next couple of weeks, which is super exciting. It's crazy to me how fast time is flying by! We wanted to wait until nearly the second trimester, which is what conventional wisdom tells you is the safest plan.
And now for a weekly update...times two!
How Far Along: 11 weeks, 6 days
What I'm Doing: Trying to avoid going back for a second helping of meatloaf. I make excellent meatloaf.
Cravings: Seriously, I'm going to have to start making these up or something. Maybe it will start happening as the pregnancy progresses, but for now - all I was is fruits and vegetables and lots of it. The only remotely unhealthy craving I have is baked potatoes, but I want it with broccoli. :) Luckily, I have some fabulous friends bringing me a baked potato and salad bar next week. Thanks, lovelies! I had a happy hour on Friday with my friends Jill and Jenni at which I ate a lot of bad bar food. And then suffered afterwards with crazy bloat, so I guess I should be grateful that my cravings are healthy.
Sleep: No real change here. It's kind of all over the place. Some nights I fall asleep at 8pm and others I can't fall asleep until nearly midnight. I keep trying to take naps but I find I can't take a nap longer than 20 minutes...maybe my body is preparing me for life with twins. :)
Sex of Babies: Still unknown, although in case you were wondering, we will be finding out! I used to think it would be so much to be surprised and now, I'm kinda done with being surprised. I've had my fill of surprises.
Symptoms: Is having a baby bump a symptom? That's all I got.
Fetal Movement: None, and it's really too early. Although apparently in the beginning, it feels like gas, so what if I mistake the babies moving for gas or vice versa?
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Nick and I are doing our annual trek to the Royals-Cardinals baseball game, the only time I'm allowed to root against the Cardinals. I've also got a cooking class with the family scheduled, some girl time and a visit to my 104 year old grandmother! Debating telling her about the pregnancy...still undecided, though.
Special Thanks To: So many people! Here's the thing no one tells you when you are pregnant - you get gifts! I've been loaned maternity clothes, a fetal Doppler heart monitor (have yet to try it out on my belly, but I do have a heartbeat in case you're wondering), and a maternity store gift card. Many, many thanks to Debbie, Lezlie and Ashley! Hugs to you all...
Many thanks also to Nick who with the arrival of my official bump this week has begun patting it and talking to the babies a lot, which is pretty freaking adorable.
And if you made it this far, you deserve a medal! Or at least the official 12 week bump pic. :)
Speaking of combos...our little ones are doomed for a lifetime of combo birthday/Christmas gifts. We have learned that though my 'official' due date is January 7th...I will likely deliver somewhere between 36 and 37 weeks, which puts me at December 10th-December 17th -ish. Plus, there's two of them so they'll get combo birthday/Christmas/SHARED gifts. Nick and I were laughing the other day about wrapping up ONE soccer ball for birthday/Christmas and telling them they could share it. Hee! Although this is assuming we actually make it to 36-37 weeks; plenty of twin mamas go before that.
Other than devising plots to irritate and infuriate our children, we are doing very well! And by we - I mean, me, Sweetie Pie and Honey Bunch (gags at my own preciousness). I am nearly into the second trimester, which means I can look forward to the end of this horrendous nausea and never-ending fatigue. OH, WAIT. I skipped that part. I still have not gained any weight, but I DEFINITELY have a bump and I'm officially in maternity clothes and/or forgiving regular clothes, which phew - what a relief! I can't believe you pregnant people have been keeping these clothes to yourself. They should really be available to everyone as the comfort level is just unparalleled. Except for these. Those things are confusing and torturous. It is either constantly rolling up and revealing my unbuttoned pants or rolling down and revealing my butt crack. Either way, Not Very Classy. But good for those of you who figured it out. Anyway, I asked the doctor how far ahead women who are pregnant with multiples measure ahead (in terms of uterus size) and he said anywhere from 4-8 weeks, which makes sense, because I look at least 4 months pregnant. Although, admittedly there was just the teensiest tiniest bit of cushion there to start with. ;)
I went maternity clothes shopping with another pregnant friend this weekend and picked up a few things at a great sale. I don't want to spend a ton of money on stuff, but I also have an abiding need to be cute. :) We loaded up a couple of rooms with a ridiculous amount of clothes and paraded our outfits to each other. The sales attendant keep oohing and ahhing and eventually I asked her if she EVER told a pregnant woman that something didn't look good. To which her reply was "No, I just say 'I think we can do better'." I guess I should be glad I didn't hear that phrase. Also, maternity stores are awesome! Easily accessible bathrooms, free drinks and comfy chairs. Genius.
As a result of my belly bump, I had to announce to all of my co-workers because I could no longer get away with the "I had Chinese for lunch" excuse and really was getting tired of the side-eye. I have told many close friends and family members that I was pregnant and never cried once. So, OF COURSE, I chose to cry in front of 65 co-workers. Gah! Emotions. Anyway, everyone was very sweet and super supportive. And now I can wear maternity clothes to work unabashedly.
We'll be announcing to our extended family and friends in the next couple of weeks, which is super exciting. It's crazy to me how fast time is flying by! We wanted to wait until nearly the second trimester, which is what conventional wisdom tells you is the safest plan.
And now for a weekly update...times two!
How Far Along: 11 weeks, 6 days
What I'm Doing: Trying to avoid going back for a second helping of meatloaf. I make excellent meatloaf.
Cravings: Seriously, I'm going to have to start making these up or something. Maybe it will start happening as the pregnancy progresses, but for now - all I was is fruits and vegetables and lots of it. The only remotely unhealthy craving I have is baked potatoes, but I want it with broccoli. :) Luckily, I have some fabulous friends bringing me a baked potato and salad bar next week. Thanks, lovelies! I had a happy hour on Friday with my friends Jill and Jenni at which I ate a lot of bad bar food. And then suffered afterwards with crazy bloat, so I guess I should be grateful that my cravings are healthy.
Sleep: No real change here. It's kind of all over the place. Some nights I fall asleep at 8pm and others I can't fall asleep until nearly midnight. I keep trying to take naps but I find I can't take a nap longer than 20 minutes...maybe my body is preparing me for life with twins. :)
Sex of Babies: Still unknown, although in case you were wondering, we will be finding out! I used to think it would be so much to be surprised and now, I'm kinda done with being surprised. I've had my fill of surprises.
Symptoms: Is having a baby bump a symptom? That's all I got.
Fetal Movement: None, and it's really too early. Although apparently in the beginning, it feels like gas, so what if I mistake the babies moving for gas or vice versa?
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Nick and I are doing our annual trek to the Royals-Cardinals baseball game, the only time I'm allowed to root against the Cardinals. I've also got a cooking class with the family scheduled, some girl time and a visit to my 104 year old grandmother! Debating telling her about the pregnancy...still undecided, though.
Special Thanks To: So many people! Here's the thing no one tells you when you are pregnant - you get gifts! I've been loaned maternity clothes, a fetal Doppler heart monitor (have yet to try it out on my belly, but I do have a heartbeat in case you're wondering), and a maternity store gift card. Many, many thanks to Debbie, Lezlie and Ashley! Hugs to you all...
Many thanks also to Nick who with the arrival of my official bump this week has begun patting it and talking to the babies a lot, which is pretty freaking adorable.
And if you made it this far, you deserve a medal! Or at least the official 12 week bump pic. :)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
An update...
Hello, all...hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful Father's Day!
Wanted to give you all a quick update about how things are going. We've had two ultrasounds subsequent to our original appointment with the high risk practice. Unfortunately, we learned that we are going forward with twins. Apologies for not saying anything sooner, but I wanted to wait until the second ultrasound confirmed everything. We always knew this was a possibility, although we were surprised to go from four to two; I believe that is fairly unusual.
However, this pregnancy has been so all over the place that I just needed to be sure before I said anything here. It's certainly very sad, but on the other hand, Nick and I really got to a point where we never thought that we would even get pregnant with one baby...so to be pregnant with two still is such a blessing. We are continuing to choose to focus on the positive. And going forward, we are just going to hope and pray for health for our two little ones...which I have started referring to as Sweetie Pie and Honey Bunch which I know is just disgustingly cutesy, but when in life can you be this cutesy and get away with it, I ask you?
Many, many thanks for all your support and love...a weekly update coming soon! But first, a nap.
XOXO
Wanted to give you all a quick update about how things are going. We've had two ultrasounds subsequent to our original appointment with the high risk practice. Unfortunately, we learned that we are going forward with twins. Apologies for not saying anything sooner, but I wanted to wait until the second ultrasound confirmed everything. We always knew this was a possibility, although we were surprised to go from four to two; I believe that is fairly unusual.
However, this pregnancy has been so all over the place that I just needed to be sure before I said anything here. It's certainly very sad, but on the other hand, Nick and I really got to a point where we never thought that we would even get pregnant with one baby...so to be pregnant with two still is such a blessing. We are continuing to choose to focus on the positive. And going forward, we are just going to hope and pray for health for our two little ones...which I have started referring to as Sweetie Pie and Honey Bunch which I know is just disgustingly cutesy, but when in life can you be this cutesy and get away with it, I ask you?
Many, many thanks for all your support and love...a weekly update coming soon! But first, a nap.
XOXO
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
It was nice while it lasted.
Prologue: I'm positive that all my talk of 'oh, I feel so great' and 'I hardly even know I'm pregnant' has had karma show me who is boss (pauses while present Sarah slaps past Sarah around for being so smug!).
So, we had a really busy weekend. A fun weekend, but busy nonetheless. Friday night I had a dinner planned with friends at The Savoy Grill, a historic seafood and steak restaurant in KC. Our dear friend Elizabeth isabandoning us taking an exciting opportunity to pursue her Master's in History at the University of Colorado - Boulder. While we prepare for her to abandon us exciting opportunity, she created a Kansas City Bucket List, of which a 'fancy' dinner at the Savoy was tops. The dinner was amazing and the atmosphere (and company) delightful. I surprised all of my fellow diners by not going the steak route. I think I may have overdone the red meat thing as of late.
Saturday wasn't really that busy other than I was trying to get stuff done around the house in between time at the pool with Nick and dinner out at a new restaurant. Sunday, I had a baby shower to attend and a family gathering to see one of my favorite people in the world, my cousin Jen, who was in town briefly. Jen is studying anthropology at the University of New Mexico and is leaving in September to live in Mexico with her husband for a year and a half. I pretty much want to be her when I grow up. :) All super fun stuff, but by the end of Sunday, I was exhausted. I barely made it through the True Blood premiere (so glad it's back on!) before conking out.
Monday, I woke up feeling terrible. Congested, coughing and just generally miserable. I decided to stay home and rest. As the day went on, my head was hurting worse and worse, until finally it turned into a migraine. It never occurred to me until then that there is absolutely nothing a pregnant woman can take to help a migraine, so I pretty much writhed around in agony for a good 18 hours. Nick tried everything he could think of - Tylenol, lots of caffeine, massage, cold compress - nothing worked. I am pretty sure he was seconds from taking me to the ER multiple times. I sobbed in misery all over the house. I am not really a crier and I think my pain tolerance is fairly high, so let me assure you...it sucked. I also had a fever and so I ended up getting a prescription for an antibiotic for a sinus infection.
The migraine continued into Tuesday and finally dissipated in the afternoon. I watched A LOT of Law and Order: SVU. More than is probably healthy. Today, I am feeling better, if not great. Although I always feel better when I have real pants on, as opposed to my lay-around-the-house-really-sad-looking-yoga-pants. I mean, they aren't buttoned or anything, but still. Pants!
Speaking of which, I really need to start taking pictures of my bump because you can definitely see it now. And not just my normal stomach cushion, I'll have you know. Also, I find that whatever fits me in the morning...tends not to by about 2:00pm. It makes getting dressed every day so exciting! Not.
Because I was feeling better last night, Nick took me for a late night ice cream run. There were at least ten people ahead of us in line; the five directly ahead of us looked to be 13 year old girls. I was sort of half listening to their conversation until I heard the word "Botox" at which point I devoted my full attention. One of the girls was talking about how she had gotten botox in her armpits to prevent sweating which, yeah - I've heard of - but at 13? Then, one of the other girls swore up and down she needed botox in her laugh lines. Which would be funny, if it weren't so horrific.
The line was taking FOREVER so after we stood there for 20 minutes and the clerk was finally taking the girls' order, I got a LITTLE grumpy when each of the girls decided to taste test multiple flavors of ice cream. OH MY GOD THEY DID NOT JUST DO THAT. Nick clearly saw a storm brewing and quickly asked the clerk if he could take our order. I guess this is a lesson for all - don't get between a pregnant woman and her ice cream. You're welcome.
So, we had a really busy weekend. A fun weekend, but busy nonetheless. Friday night I had a dinner planned with friends at The Savoy Grill, a historic seafood and steak restaurant in KC. Our dear friend Elizabeth is
Saturday wasn't really that busy other than I was trying to get stuff done around the house in between time at the pool with Nick and dinner out at a new restaurant. Sunday, I had a baby shower to attend and a family gathering to see one of my favorite people in the world, my cousin Jen, who was in town briefly. Jen is studying anthropology at the University of New Mexico and is leaving in September to live in Mexico with her husband for a year and a half. I pretty much want to be her when I grow up. :) All super fun stuff, but by the end of Sunday, I was exhausted. I barely made it through the True Blood premiere (so glad it's back on!) before conking out.
Monday, I woke up feeling terrible. Congested, coughing and just generally miserable. I decided to stay home and rest. As the day went on, my head was hurting worse and worse, until finally it turned into a migraine. It never occurred to me until then that there is absolutely nothing a pregnant woman can take to help a migraine, so I pretty much writhed around in agony for a good 18 hours. Nick tried everything he could think of - Tylenol, lots of caffeine, massage, cold compress - nothing worked. I am pretty sure he was seconds from taking me to the ER multiple times. I sobbed in misery all over the house. I am not really a crier and I think my pain tolerance is fairly high, so let me assure you...it sucked. I also had a fever and so I ended up getting a prescription for an antibiotic for a sinus infection.
The migraine continued into Tuesday and finally dissipated in the afternoon. I watched A LOT of Law and Order: SVU. More than is probably healthy. Today, I am feeling better, if not great. Although I always feel better when I have real pants on, as opposed to my lay-around-the-house-really-sad-looking-yoga-pants. I mean, they aren't buttoned or anything, but still. Pants!
Speaking of which, I really need to start taking pictures of my bump because you can definitely see it now. And not just my normal stomach cushion, I'll have you know. Also, I find that whatever fits me in the morning...tends not to by about 2:00pm. It makes getting dressed every day so exciting! Not.
Because I was feeling better last night, Nick took me for a late night ice cream run. There were at least ten people ahead of us in line; the five directly ahead of us looked to be 13 year old girls. I was sort of half listening to their conversation until I heard the word "Botox" at which point I devoted my full attention. One of the girls was talking about how she had gotten botox in her armpits to prevent sweating which, yeah - I've heard of - but at 13? Then, one of the other girls swore up and down she needed botox in her laugh lines. Which would be funny, if it weren't so horrific.
The line was taking FOREVER so after we stood there for 20 minutes and the clerk was finally taking the girls' order, I got a LITTLE grumpy when each of the girls decided to taste test multiple flavors of ice cream. OH MY GOD THEY DID NOT JUST DO THAT. Nick clearly saw a storm brewing and quickly asked the clerk if he could take our order. I guess this is a lesson for all - don't get between a pregnant woman and her ice cream. You're welcome.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Week 9
Hello, my friends!
Another week has passed and we are inching ever-closer to the second trimester. So, here's what's been going on...
How Far Along: 9 weeks, 6 days
What I'm Doing: Itching
Cravings: In addition to fruits, vegetables and steaks, I now crave ham. Ham! I come by it honestly, though - my 104 year old grandmother is a ham fiend.
Sleep: I feel a little more tired in the afternoons and extra tired in the mornings, but other than that, no changes. And no weird sleepwalking this week, either.
Sex of Babies: Unknown
Symptoms: If itching is a pregnancy symptom, that's probably the thing I am suffering from most. Still no nausea or exhaustion. Maybe I could be a candidate for that "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" show...other than my rapidly expanding waistline.
Fetal Movement: None
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Some pool time this weekend, a trip to Trader Joe's, a baby shower on Sunday and a family get-together!
Best Moment Of The Week: Nick's impersonation of our babies in utero. Maybe I'll get sneaky and try to catch it on video. :)
Special Thanks To: Omaha Steak Company for continuing to provide me a steady stream of iron fortification in the form of tasty, tasty beef.
Another week has passed and we are inching ever-closer to the second trimester. So, here's what's been going on...
- My lovely and dear friend Jenni got married! It was a gorgeous day and a beautiful ceremony. I don't think it could have been more perfect. It's hard to believe that the girl I used to "produce" music videos with (I believe the soundtrack to Clueless was a favorite of ours) and perform impromptu stand-up routines at the movie theater we both worked at is now a married woman. A married, beautiful, funny and smart woman. We're, like, adults now, I guess. :) When we ordered the bridesmaid dresses, I knew there was a possibility I could be pregnant at the wedding but of course, at that time, I never dreamed I would be pregnant with more than one! By sheer chance, the bridal shop ordered a dress one size bigger for me. I had to have it taken in quite a bit on the top, but it fit perfectly around the waist. Love those empire waists. My parents also attended the wedding and it was fun to see them out on the dance floor; they are great dancers and pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. I can't wait to see the pictures that the amazing Emily Mueller took! Jenni was a stunning bride...just gorgeous.
- We had our first appointment at the high risk practice at KU Med Center. This is probably the only time I will ever give KU credit for anything, so Jayhawk readers, enjoy this. :) The practice is beautiful - the offices must be pretty new. The ultrasound suites are huge and have big plasma TVs for you to view the ultrasound on...a pretty big shift from squinting and staring at the little screen from the RE's office. Everything is still looking good for all four babies. The doctor still cautions us that a lot can happen in the next month before we move to the second trimester, but for now - everyone is measuring where they should. Our doctor really took his time with us and answered all of our questions. The MOST interesting piece of information by far is that this practice will do vaginal delivery for multiples, which is almost unheard of. We need to discuss this further and do some research, but I am at a minimum, intrigued.
- I am wearing my first maternity top! Not really because I need to, but because I am ITCHING LIKE CRAZY. Seriously, I'm sure my co-workers think I have some type of bug infestation or something. All I want to do is wear the loosest clothing imaginable, so I threw on a maternity top today. Interestingly, I had forgotten that last summer I picked up a couple of tops during the wait to find out if our first IVF cycle had worked. I guess I was thinking optimistically? At any rate, I was looking through my closet and came across them this weekend. Score! I also ordered a maternity swimsuit because by God, I may be house-sized this summer, but I will be tan.
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| First maternity outfit! Well, top, anyways. I can still button my regular pants. Please excuse the laundry on the guest bed! |
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| This is the maternity swimsuit I ordered. By and large, maternity swimwear is hideous. This was the least offensive suit I found. |
What I'm Doing: Itching
Cravings: In addition to fruits, vegetables and steaks, I now crave ham. Ham! I come by it honestly, though - my 104 year old grandmother is a ham fiend.
Sleep: I feel a little more tired in the afternoons and extra tired in the mornings, but other than that, no changes. And no weird sleepwalking this week, either.
Sex of Babies: Unknown
Symptoms: If itching is a pregnancy symptom, that's probably the thing I am suffering from most. Still no nausea or exhaustion. Maybe I could be a candidate for that "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" show...other than my rapidly expanding waistline.
Fetal Movement: None
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Some pool time this weekend, a trip to Trader Joe's, a baby shower on Sunday and a family get-together!
Best Moment Of The Week: Nick's impersonation of our babies in utero. Maybe I'll get sneaky and try to catch it on video. :)
Special Thanks To: Omaha Steak Company for continuing to provide me a steady stream of iron fortification in the form of tasty, tasty beef.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Week 8
Hello, people! Hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend. This is going to be kind of a long update since it has been a week since I posted.
Our weekend was delightful - we had no plans and I couldn't have been happier. Between traveling and the pregnancy craziness of late, we really needed down time. There were multiple pool trips (for me), bike rides (for Nick), a couple of movies, lots of grilling out and some shopping. Oh, and naps. Glorious, glorious naps.
I ended up trying to hit up some Memorial Day sales for maternity clothes. I hadn't really intended to pick up anything yet, however this weekend I was reading through a couple of different blogs of moms of multiples and happened to see some pictures of these women at around 12 or 13 weeks. I was not prepared for what I saw - they looked significantly more pregnant than what I was expecting. I still am just a little bloated and haven't gained any weight (which I really don't need to until in the second trimester anyway - I've actually lost some since the start of the IVF cycle), but I am living in fear of waking up some day with no pants to wear. A no-pants emergency! So, I decided to ease my fears by picking up a few things. Between what I purchased and a few items that were loaned to me, I think I could survive a week safely.
The most interesting thing about trying on maternity clothes is the little pillow they give you to strap around your belly to mimic the bump. Nick came with me and when I came out of the dressing room, we both just sort of started into the mirror, like - whoa. This is happening. Nick assured me that I looked beautiful, but still - weird. Anyways, I grabbed two dresses, a skirt, a top and of course, because Nick was with me - a Cardinals tee shirt.
In other news, we had a third ultrasound last week and got a bit of a surprise. At our previous ultrasound, Dr. G was nearly convinced that we were moving forward with twins. However, last week we ended up seeing and hearing four heartbeats. It was definitely a surprise! As a result, we're being referred to a high-risk OB and we will see him in the next couple of weeks. We were cautioned, though, that at this stage in the pregnancy, a lot can change - so we're just taking it a week at a time.
The unexpected byproduct of seeing four heartbeats was that I ended up graduating from my fertility clinic's office. I have to admit - it was emotional! I cried, the nurse cried, even Dr. G got a little misty-eyed. They gave me a going-away gift of a tote bag with a bunch of swag with the clinic's logo (as I joked to Nick, so when you want to say to the world - Hey! I'm infertile!) and some onesies. It was very sweet and made me sob all the more. The staff there was so good to us and I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. However, I am looking forward to meeting with the new doctor.
How Far Along: 8 weeks, 4 days
Size of Baby: Olive
What I'm Doing: I just woke up from a nap. At 9:00 at night. Maybe the pregnancy fatigue is hitting me harder than I thought.
Cravings: RED MEAT! This is all I can think about - I've even started dreaming about steaks. Last night, I woke myself up with a watering mouth. Bear in mind, that in a normal year, I have steak - maybe once? But steaks and burgers are all I want right now. Luckily, I have a pretty handy grillmaster on speed dial. This weekend, we made monterey jack cheese stuffed burgers with a knock-off version of In and Out Burger's special sauce and it was amazing. I couldn't stop talking about how good it was to Nick. He assures me this means we must be having all boys. I think I am just low in iron.
I continue to be averse to chicken and now turkey, as well. But, as long as I am eating every two hours, I can pretty much eat anything. I am still doing my green monster shakes in the morning, although sans the protein powder. Tons of big salads, seafood, pretty much anything I want except poultry.
Sleep: In general, my sleep is pretty consistent with what it is typically. However, the one change is that my dreams are incredibly vivid and my sleeptalking/sleepwalking seems to have increased. Last night, I woke up standing in our bedroom holding a framed wedding photo that I had just removed from our wall because I thought Nick was hiding something underneath it. The night before that, I caught myself trying to put one of the cats outside because I thought it was a stray dog. I've heard that stress can exacerbate sleepwalking/talking, so I'm assuming that is what's going on, but nevertheless - strange!
Sex of Babies: Unknown, other than Nick's very unscientific predictions
Symptoms: I hate to say this (for fear of tempting the fates), but I am having a really easy go of it. I had one week early on where the nausea seemed more pronounced and a lot of food didn't sound very good to me, but as I said, if my belly's full - I'm a happy camper! I am not experiencing the tremendous fatigue that a lot of my friends have told me about. In general, I don't feel that much different at all. I can only take this to mean one of two things - 1) it's still coming or 2) I am getting a pass because of all the babies in my belly and what will surely be a more difficult later pregnancy.
Fetal Movement: None
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: My dear friend Jenni's wedding! And the fact that my bridesmaid dress fits. :)
Best Moment Of The Week: The long weekend - every glorious moment of it. In particular, I was able to work out for the first time in...awhile. As I recall, Dr. G put an exercise restriction on me in late March - at the time that I started the stims. Then, I wasn't allowed to exercise until the pregnancy was confirmed. And then when I had all of the issues with bleeding, I was again told not to exercise until a full week went by without incident. That milestone finally passed, so I was sort of excited to get back into a routine. I have to say - it was not pretty. But it felt good. I had ordered a pregnancy workout DVD off of Amazon - chosen because reviewers said that it was a pretty decent workout. I guess I could have kept to my regular routine, but what I like about the DVD is that it incorporates stretching and strength training that are supposed to help with some of the strain of pregnancy.
Special Thanks To: Nick - he's always been a very supportive husband, but his nurturing, protective side is really coming out lately. I am getting a lot of offers for foot rubs, random kisses to my forehead, inquiries about how I'm feeling, admonishments to not get near the cat's litter boxes (now that I'm pregnant, he has inherited that job!), and a ton of attempts to make me laugh, which isn't that difficult because Nick is pretty damn funny. I think I'll keep him around. :)
Our weekend was delightful - we had no plans and I couldn't have been happier. Between traveling and the pregnancy craziness of late, we really needed down time. There were multiple pool trips (for me), bike rides (for Nick), a couple of movies, lots of grilling out and some shopping. Oh, and naps. Glorious, glorious naps.
I ended up trying to hit up some Memorial Day sales for maternity clothes. I hadn't really intended to pick up anything yet, however this weekend I was reading through a couple of different blogs of moms of multiples and happened to see some pictures of these women at around 12 or 13 weeks. I was not prepared for what I saw - they looked significantly more pregnant than what I was expecting. I still am just a little bloated and haven't gained any weight (which I really don't need to until in the second trimester anyway - I've actually lost some since the start of the IVF cycle), but I am living in fear of waking up some day with no pants to wear. A no-pants emergency! So, I decided to ease my fears by picking up a few things. Between what I purchased and a few items that were loaned to me, I think I could survive a week safely.
The most interesting thing about trying on maternity clothes is the little pillow they give you to strap around your belly to mimic the bump. Nick came with me and when I came out of the dressing room, we both just sort of started into the mirror, like - whoa. This is happening. Nick assured me that I looked beautiful, but still - weird. Anyways, I grabbed two dresses, a skirt, a top and of course, because Nick was with me - a Cardinals tee shirt.
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| All black and white so everything matches. |
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| Ernie not included. |
In other news, we had a third ultrasound last week and got a bit of a surprise. At our previous ultrasound, Dr. G was nearly convinced that we were moving forward with twins. However, last week we ended up seeing and hearing four heartbeats. It was definitely a surprise! As a result, we're being referred to a high-risk OB and we will see him in the next couple of weeks. We were cautioned, though, that at this stage in the pregnancy, a lot can change - so we're just taking it a week at a time.
The unexpected byproduct of seeing four heartbeats was that I ended up graduating from my fertility clinic's office. I have to admit - it was emotional! I cried, the nurse cried, even Dr. G got a little misty-eyed. They gave me a going-away gift of a tote bag with a bunch of swag with the clinic's logo (as I joked to Nick, so when you want to say to the world - Hey! I'm infertile!) and some onesies. It was very sweet and made me sob all the more. The staff there was so good to us and I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. However, I am looking forward to meeting with the new doctor.
How Far Along: 8 weeks, 4 days
Size of Baby: Olive
What I'm Doing: I just woke up from a nap. At 9:00 at night. Maybe the pregnancy fatigue is hitting me harder than I thought.
Cravings: RED MEAT! This is all I can think about - I've even started dreaming about steaks. Last night, I woke myself up with a watering mouth. Bear in mind, that in a normal year, I have steak - maybe once? But steaks and burgers are all I want right now. Luckily, I have a pretty handy grillmaster on speed dial. This weekend, we made monterey jack cheese stuffed burgers with a knock-off version of In and Out Burger's special sauce and it was amazing. I couldn't stop talking about how good it was to Nick. He assures me this means we must be having all boys. I think I am just low in iron.
I continue to be averse to chicken and now turkey, as well. But, as long as I am eating every two hours, I can pretty much eat anything. I am still doing my green monster shakes in the morning, although sans the protein powder. Tons of big salads, seafood, pretty much anything I want except poultry.
Sleep: In general, my sleep is pretty consistent with what it is typically. However, the one change is that my dreams are incredibly vivid and my sleeptalking/sleepwalking seems to have increased. Last night, I woke up standing in our bedroom holding a framed wedding photo that I had just removed from our wall because I thought Nick was hiding something underneath it. The night before that, I caught myself trying to put one of the cats outside because I thought it was a stray dog. I've heard that stress can exacerbate sleepwalking/talking, so I'm assuming that is what's going on, but nevertheless - strange!
Sex of Babies: Unknown, other than Nick's very unscientific predictions
Symptoms: I hate to say this (for fear of tempting the fates), but I am having a really easy go of it. I had one week early on where the nausea seemed more pronounced and a lot of food didn't sound very good to me, but as I said, if my belly's full - I'm a happy camper! I am not experiencing the tremendous fatigue that a lot of my friends have told me about. In general, I don't feel that much different at all. I can only take this to mean one of two things - 1) it's still coming or 2) I am getting a pass because of all the babies in my belly and what will surely be a more difficult later pregnancy.
Fetal Movement: None
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: My dear friend Jenni's wedding! And the fact that my bridesmaid dress fits. :)
Best Moment Of The Week: The long weekend - every glorious moment of it. In particular, I was able to work out for the first time in...awhile. As I recall, Dr. G put an exercise restriction on me in late March - at the time that I started the stims. Then, I wasn't allowed to exercise until the pregnancy was confirmed. And then when I had all of the issues with bleeding, I was again told not to exercise until a full week went by without incident. That milestone finally passed, so I was sort of excited to get back into a routine. I have to say - it was not pretty. But it felt good. I had ordered a pregnancy workout DVD off of Amazon - chosen because reviewers said that it was a pretty decent workout. I guess I could have kept to my regular routine, but what I like about the DVD is that it incorporates stretching and strength training that are supposed to help with some of the strain of pregnancy.
Special Thanks To: Nick - he's always been a very supportive husband, but his nurturing, protective side is really coming out lately. I am getting a lot of offers for foot rubs, random kisses to my forehead, inquiries about how I'm feeling, admonishments to not get near the cat's litter boxes (now that I'm pregnant, he has inherited that job!), and a ton of attempts to make me laugh, which isn't that difficult because Nick is pretty damn funny. I think I'll keep him around. :)
Monday, May 21, 2012
Week 7
We are back from Memphis and had an amazing time! I was a little worried that nausea/fatigue would get the best of me, but I thought I did pretty well all things considered. Must have been the magical healing properties of award winning BBQ. I don't know why I even thought that eating BBQ would be an issue - it was amazing! I don't think I felt sick once as long as I had a steady stream of something tasty from the smoker in my belly.
And the weather, though warm (upper 80s or 90 each day), wasn't too bad either. There was typically a nice breeze from the river and the team's facility had a couple of heavy duty fans strategically placed for optimal cooling. It was great to spend time with Nick's family and mine. Regretfully, I think the nausea has returned. I tried to have a grilled chicken salad for lunch and got through about three bites before calling it quits. Or perhaps my body is so accustomed to tasty BBQ that it is now rejecting all other food groups.
It was strange to not be drinking while there and I sort of felt like I was conducting some sort of sociology experiment, but all in all - an excellent time. The team did quite well with a 7th place win in sauce, a 10th place win in exotic (the most delicious empanadas ever made by sister-in-law Lus and her husband (Nick's brother) Dan), and some other really good results. But more importantly, I think everyone had a good time. Our hosts, Tim and Becky, did an amazing job of making everyone feel welcome.
How Far Along: 7 weeks, 3 days
Size of Baby: Blueberry
What I'm Doing: Taking a break from cleaning out my purse and work bag; it's gotten a tad bit out of control.
Cravings: Still loving cranberry juice, nothing else new! Apparently, though - strong aversion to chicken. :(
Sleep: I am not feeling the crushing ongoing fatigue that most of my friends have described. It's more like - when I'm tired - I'm TIRED. And I need to sleep immediately. But it hasn't been too bad.
Sex of babies: unknown
Symptoms: nausea (off and on)...some fatigue...that's pretty much it (thanking my lucky stars!)
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Another ultrasound and a chance to see our little ones! Having absolutely not a single thing scheduled this coming weekend. I am looking forward to hanging out at the pool and doing a lot of relaxing.
Best Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeats!
Special Thanks To: Nick's family for keeping an eye out for me (although as it turns out - needlessly so) while in Memphis and my mom/dad and Uncle Mike and his wife, Maggie for making the trek to Memphis. Also - special thanks to Nick for just being generally adorable and sweet. :) (I know - gag, right?!)
And the weather, though warm (upper 80s or 90 each day), wasn't too bad either. There was typically a nice breeze from the river and the team's facility had a couple of heavy duty fans strategically placed for optimal cooling. It was great to spend time with Nick's family and mine. Regretfully, I think the nausea has returned. I tried to have a grilled chicken salad for lunch and got through about three bites before calling it quits. Or perhaps my body is so accustomed to tasty BBQ that it is now rejecting all other food groups.
It was strange to not be drinking while there and I sort of felt like I was conducting some sort of sociology experiment, but all in all - an excellent time. The team did quite well with a 7th place win in sauce, a 10th place win in exotic (the most delicious empanadas ever made by sister-in-law Lus and her husband (Nick's brother) Dan), and some other really good results. But more importantly, I think everyone had a good time. Our hosts, Tim and Becky, did an amazing job of making everyone feel welcome.
How Far Along: 7 weeks, 3 days
Size of Baby: Blueberry
What I'm Doing: Taking a break from cleaning out my purse and work bag; it's gotten a tad bit out of control.
Cravings: Still loving cranberry juice, nothing else new! Apparently, though - strong aversion to chicken. :(
Sleep: I am not feeling the crushing ongoing fatigue that most of my friends have described. It's more like - when I'm tired - I'm TIRED. And I need to sleep immediately. But it hasn't been too bad.
Sex of babies: unknown
Symptoms: nausea (off and on)...some fatigue...that's pretty much it (thanking my lucky stars!)
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: Another ultrasound and a chance to see our little ones! Having absolutely not a single thing scheduled this coming weekend. I am looking forward to hanging out at the pool and doing a lot of relaxing.
Best Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeats!
Special Thanks To: Nick's family for keeping an eye out for me (although as it turns out - needlessly so) while in Memphis and my mom/dad and Uncle Mike and his wife, Maggie for making the trek to Memphis. Also - special thanks to Nick for just being generally adorable and sweet. :) (I know - gag, right?!)
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Ultrasound #2
Hello, all!
Just back from the doctor's office; I am off today since we are leaving for Memphis this afternoon, so I swung by Nick's office and picked him up on the way to the Olathe office. I left the house at 8am and just got back so it's been a long morning. I need a nap. :)
Today we got to see the identical twins' heartbeats and hear them - it was so amazing! Their heartbeats were 113 and 110 beats per minute, which is good; they are both measuring on target. Seeing the heartbeat was a neat experience, too - although it was just a tiny little flash on the screen that if the doctor hadn't been pointing directly at, I probably would have just nodded my head and smiled like 'Okay, doc - whatever you say'. It was nice to have Nick in the room this time, too. Made it feel a lot more real!
So now to answer the questions you are really to hear for...what's going on with #3 and #4? Well, the doctor is nearly certain that #4 is an empty sack. #3 - it's unclear. He couldn't see the heart like he could with the twins, although there was a yolk sack. So, we're just going to keep monitoring both of them. It seems reasonably possible that we could be moving forward with twins.
Frankly, we are quite relieved. We still need to see how things progress, but the risks we were reading about triplet/quad pregnancies really had us scared. Several studies we read cited that in as many as 25% of triplet/quad pregnancies - all of the babies were lost. This was kind of our 'hail mary' IVF cycle so I don't know how we could go on if we lost the entire pregnancy.
At any rate, we still have a long way to go! We will have weekly ultrasounds for a few more weeks to see how things progress and then 'graduate' to an OB.
Okay, I am off to pack for Memphis in May! BBQ - get in ma' belly! Much love to you all...
Just back from the doctor's office; I am off today since we are leaving for Memphis this afternoon, so I swung by Nick's office and picked him up on the way to the Olathe office. I left the house at 8am and just got back so it's been a long morning. I need a nap. :)
Today we got to see the identical twins' heartbeats and hear them - it was so amazing! Their heartbeats were 113 and 110 beats per minute, which is good; they are both measuring on target. Seeing the heartbeat was a neat experience, too - although it was just a tiny little flash on the screen that if the doctor hadn't been pointing directly at, I probably would have just nodded my head and smiled like 'Okay, doc - whatever you say'. It was nice to have Nick in the room this time, too. Made it feel a lot more real!
So now to answer the questions you are really to hear for...what's going on with #3 and #4? Well, the doctor is nearly certain that #4 is an empty sack. #3 - it's unclear. He couldn't see the heart like he could with the twins, although there was a yolk sack. So, we're just going to keep monitoring both of them. It seems reasonably possible that we could be moving forward with twins.
Frankly, we are quite relieved. We still need to see how things progress, but the risks we were reading about triplet/quad pregnancies really had us scared. Several studies we read cited that in as many as 25% of triplet/quad pregnancies - all of the babies were lost. This was kind of our 'hail mary' IVF cycle so I don't know how we could go on if we lost the entire pregnancy.
At any rate, we still have a long way to go! We will have weekly ultrasounds for a few more weeks to see how things progress and then 'graduate' to an OB.
Okay, I am off to pack for Memphis in May! BBQ - get in ma' belly! Much love to you all...
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Week 6
First off, if you are ever looking for an effective line to keep creepy guys in bars away from you, I highly suggest "I'm pregnant with quads". I know this because I, along with many other friends, went to Chicago this weekend for our dear friend Jenni's bachelorette party. Luckily, I had another pregnant buddy there. I think both of us thought we'd be 'lame' and head back to the hotel early each night, however we managed to make it to 1:00am on Friday and Saturday. Mostly because the rest of the gang were pretty entertaining. I was a little nervous that I would be tired/queasy the entire weekend, but I managed my symptoms pretty well and enjoyed myself. Didn't hurt that most of the group were suffering on Saturday so there was a lot of napping going on.
Tomorrow, we head to Memphis in May for the BBQ competition; I am super excited! This is my first time going, although I think it's the third year that Nick's family has competed. My parents and aunt and uncle will also be joining us so it should make for a fun weekend. I am determined not to let my upset pregnant stomach keep me from eating delicious, delicious BBQ. I will persevere. :)
How Far Along: 6 weeks, 4 days - I think.
Size of Baby: a pea (gives new meaning to the phrase peas in a pod)
What I'm Doing: Taking a quick break from work. This morning has involved more discussions about fleas in the building than my poor self can take. Including someone showing me their flea bites. Ew.
Cravings: Cranberry juice, Cran-Apple juice, Cran-Raspberry juice, Cran-Apple-Raspberry juice. Anything Cranberry related. Other than that, my food choices have dwindled considerably to mostly bland foods. Oatmeal. Toast. Crackers. Bananas. Sigh...
Sleep: It seems like the pregnancy exhaustion comes in waves - I'll be fine for most of the day and then all of the sudden it hits and I can barely make it to the bed before passing out.
Sex of Babies: Unknown
Symptoms: morning/all day sickness (no puking yet, though! as long as I eat a small amount every 1-2 hours), fatigue, cramping, I've had a couple more instances of bleeding, too.
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: BBQ! Slabs-a-Smoking placing high again at Memphis in May. Spending time with both sides of the family and Nick. Our second ultrasound.
Best Moment of The Week: Well, despite the fact that I was bowled over to see four babies instead of two - seeing them on the ultrasound was pretty amazing. Although it's hard to look at my stomach and not feel sort of like a science experiment gone wrong.
Special Thanks To: Way too many to list individually this week so let's just say everyone! Seriously, you all have been super supportive and Nick and I appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.
Tomorrow, we head to Memphis in May for the BBQ competition; I am super excited! This is my first time going, although I think it's the third year that Nick's family has competed. My parents and aunt and uncle will also be joining us so it should make for a fun weekend. I am determined not to let my upset pregnant stomach keep me from eating delicious, delicious BBQ. I will persevere. :)
How Far Along: 6 weeks, 4 days - I think.
Size of Baby: a pea (gives new meaning to the phrase peas in a pod)
What I'm Doing: Taking a quick break from work. This morning has involved more discussions about fleas in the building than my poor self can take. Including someone showing me their flea bites. Ew.
Cravings: Cranberry juice, Cran-Apple juice, Cran-Raspberry juice, Cran-Apple-Raspberry juice. Anything Cranberry related. Other than that, my food choices have dwindled considerably to mostly bland foods. Oatmeal. Toast. Crackers. Bananas. Sigh...
Sleep: It seems like the pregnancy exhaustion comes in waves - I'll be fine for most of the day and then all of the sudden it hits and I can barely make it to the bed before passing out.
Sex of Babies: Unknown
Symptoms: morning/all day sickness (no puking yet, though! as long as I eat a small amount every 1-2 hours), fatigue, cramping, I've had a couple more instances of bleeding, too.
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm Looking Forward To This Week: BBQ! Slabs-a-Smoking placing high again at Memphis in May. Spending time with both sides of the family and Nick. Our second ultrasound.
Best Moment of The Week: Well, despite the fact that I was bowled over to see four babies instead of two - seeing them on the ultrasound was pretty amazing. Although it's hard to look at my stomach and not feel sort of like a science experiment gone wrong.
Special Thanks To: Way too many to list individually this week so let's just say everyone! Seriously, you all have been super supportive and Nick and I appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.
Friday, May 11, 2012
What to expect when you're expecting the unexpected
Let me start by saying that this is hands-down, bar-none, the CRAZIEST week of our lives. It has been so full of ups and downs and making things more complicated, Nick's been out of town on business. Earlier this week, I was convinced we had or would lose the baby(ies). By the time I actually got to the ultrasound, I was pretty calm, but still not really sure what to expect. While in the waiting room, I saw a familiar face peek in at me from the hallway who 'just happened to be in the neighborhood'. ;) (Thanks, Nicole - it was reassuring to see you!)
They took my vitals (blood pressure and pulse - totally normal! Shocker!) and escorted me to the ultrasound room. I saw Dr. G for the first time since the transfer and he congratulated me on being pregnant.
Now, before I go any further, let me just remind you of a few details.
1.) This was our fourth IVF cycle.
2.) All three previous cycles had been unsuccessful.
3.) We had transferred seven embryos total in those three cycles - seven beautiful high quality embryos....and yet nothing.
4.) The three embryos we transferred on this fourth cycle were the poorest in quality by far...two of them hadn't even made it to the blastocyst stage. Had we chosen to only transfer two, we still probably would have ended up with zero embryos to freeze as all of the remaining embryos arrested the day after the transfer.
5.) We chose our current doctor specifically for his very conservative approach. He only allows couple to transfer three embryos in situations where they have had multiple unsuccessful cycles and/or the mother is over age 40.
So, that's what we are a little surprised that...
1.) We are having twins. Identical twins.
2.) Plus another baby.
3.) Plus maybe another baby.
I'll pause and let you do the math.
Yes, that's four babies.
Three of the babies had identifiable yolk sacs (I don't exactly know what that means but I guess it is a good thing) and the fourth looked empty, however because this was a very early ultrasound, the fourth could still be viable.
There are a lot of emotions going through Nick and I and our families right now, but I am choosing to be happy and positive and we will just take one thing at a time. We have another ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday of next week. And, we still have a long ways to go. Nick and I are both very realistic knowing that a lot could happen as the pregnancy progresses.
In case you're wondering, this is extremely rare. Like, winning the lottery rare. I'm not sure who was more surprised - the doctor, the nurse or me. Dr. G looked visibly shaken and when scheduling my next ultrasound, the nurse said "Whoa. I'm going to need a moment here."
So, a long ways to go from here and a lot of unknowns, but I have come to terms that absolutely nothing about starting our family is going to be normal so I just need to focus on one thing - my health and the health of our babies.
One note - I couldn't ask for a better partner in Nick. He has truly been an anchor for me this week; as I've said to many of you, the great blessing in all of our struggles to start a family has been that we have gotten closer and closer. I'm glad that's the case, because we certainly are going to need to lean on each other going forward!
Much love to you all and thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers! Oh, and I'm sure this goes without saying but please don't mention this on Facebook or around extended family that aren't aware of what's going on. I think once we are safely in the third trimester, we'll make the announcement public.
XOXO,
FMOM (Future Mom of Multiples)
Oh, yeah! P.S. Here's a kinda crappy picture of the identical twins. By the time we got to #3 and #4, the doc and I were so flustered, we forgot to print a picture. :)
They took my vitals (blood pressure and pulse - totally normal! Shocker!) and escorted me to the ultrasound room. I saw Dr. G for the first time since the transfer and he congratulated me on being pregnant.
Now, before I go any further, let me just remind you of a few details.
1.) This was our fourth IVF cycle.
2.) All three previous cycles had been unsuccessful.
3.) We had transferred seven embryos total in those three cycles - seven beautiful high quality embryos....and yet nothing.
4.) The three embryos we transferred on this fourth cycle were the poorest in quality by far...two of them hadn't even made it to the blastocyst stage. Had we chosen to only transfer two, we still probably would have ended up with zero embryos to freeze as all of the remaining embryos arrested the day after the transfer.
5.) We chose our current doctor specifically for his very conservative approach. He only allows couple to transfer three embryos in situations where they have had multiple unsuccessful cycles and/or the mother is over age 40.
So, that's what we are a little surprised that...
1.) We are having twins. Identical twins.
2.) Plus another baby.
3.) Plus maybe another baby.
I'll pause and let you do the math.
Yes, that's four babies.
Three of the babies had identifiable yolk sacs (I don't exactly know what that means but I guess it is a good thing) and the fourth looked empty, however because this was a very early ultrasound, the fourth could still be viable.
There are a lot of emotions going through Nick and I and our families right now, but I am choosing to be happy and positive and we will just take one thing at a time. We have another ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday of next week. And, we still have a long ways to go. Nick and I are both very realistic knowing that a lot could happen as the pregnancy progresses.
In case you're wondering, this is extremely rare. Like, winning the lottery rare. I'm not sure who was more surprised - the doctor, the nurse or me. Dr. G looked visibly shaken and when scheduling my next ultrasound, the nurse said "Whoa. I'm going to need a moment here."
So, a long ways to go from here and a lot of unknowns, but I have come to terms that absolutely nothing about starting our family is going to be normal so I just need to focus on one thing - my health and the health of our babies.
One note - I couldn't ask for a better partner in Nick. He has truly been an anchor for me this week; as I've said to many of you, the great blessing in all of our struggles to start a family has been that we have gotten closer and closer. I'm glad that's the case, because we certainly are going to need to lean on each other going forward!
Much love to you all and thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers! Oh, and I'm sure this goes without saying but please don't mention this on Facebook or around extended family that aren't aware of what's going on. I think once we are safely in the third trimester, we'll make the announcement public.
XOXO,
FMOM (Future Mom of Multiples)
Oh, yeah! P.S. Here's a kinda crappy picture of the identical twins. By the time we got to #3 and #4, the doc and I were so flustered, we forgot to print a picture. :)
Thursday, May 10, 2012
All is well!
Just a quick note to say that I had the ultrasound and everything looks great! Thanks for all your prayers!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Stop the rollercoaster, I want to get off...
Hi, gang - just a quick update. I was feeling so much better last night having gotten the good news about our numbers - that is, until I start bleeding heavily. It was very scary and I went from zero to full freakout in about two seconds. Poor Nick got a panicked call from me; I don't think he even understood what I was saying. I'm not really one prone to freakouts like this; I'm typically pretty calm, especially in a crisis. Blame it on the combination of hormones and stress!
Anyway, he eventually calmed me down and we learned from some quick googling and subsequently our nurse, that this can be very common in pregnancies, especially for IVF patients. Of course, it can also be a bad thing. I stayed home today and my ultrasound is still on for tomorrow, but now it's even more important. I am feeling pretty peaceful right now so here's hoping that feeling lasts. I know this is really hard on Nick since he is out of town and feeling pretty helpless. Will keep you all updated!
Anyway, he eventually calmed me down and we learned from some quick googling and subsequently our nurse, that this can be very common in pregnancies, especially for IVF patients. Of course, it can also be a bad thing. I stayed home today and my ultrasound is still on for tomorrow, but now it's even more important. I am feeling pretty peaceful right now so here's hoping that feeling lasts. I know this is really hard on Nick since he is out of town and feeling pretty helpless. Will keep you all updated!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Phew....a sigh of relief
Once again, the doctor's office decided to torture me by waiting until JUST NOW to call, but luckily it was good news! My number was 17,359 which is very, very good. They are also letting me do an early ultrasound on Thursday (it was going to be next week) just to continue to assuage my fears. Unfortunately, Nick is out of town but we talked and agreed we wouldn't pass up an opportunity to see our baby(ies) sooner rather than later!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Rollercoaster
So after I published that last post, two things happened - 1) I happened across an article online that basically said a lot of the things I was experiencing were common with IVF patients who get pregnant and 2) a good friend (thanks, good friend!) emailed me to tell me that she had had a very similar experience and all was fine.
I was driving home and feeling much better when my doctor's office called; I left them a message this afternoon with some of my concerns. I fully expected them to tell me that everything I'm experiencing is normal and that I shouldn't worry. Instead, they asked me to come in for a repeat beta test tomorrow first thing to see if my numbers are still okay, and in addition - they will likely move up our first ultrasound. I was a little stunned and said so to the nurse. She assured me that many people experience what I'm going through and go on to have healthy pregnancies, but it can also go the other way. She told me that they respect all that IVF patients have to go through and so they always try to get an answer (for good or for bad) as quickly as possible.
With that, I burst into tears. I just can't take the stress of more tests and waiting around all day to hear back from the office. Nick is doing a really good job of trying to comfort me and I just took another pregnancy test (strong as ever!) but I. Hate. This.
So, please send any spare good thoughts our way right now...I feel like we could use them. Will update as soon as I know something.
I was driving home and feeling much better when my doctor's office called; I left them a message this afternoon with some of my concerns. I fully expected them to tell me that everything I'm experiencing is normal and that I shouldn't worry. Instead, they asked me to come in for a repeat beta test tomorrow first thing to see if my numbers are still okay, and in addition - they will likely move up our first ultrasound. I was a little stunned and said so to the nurse. She assured me that many people experience what I'm going through and go on to have healthy pregnancies, but it can also go the other way. She told me that they respect all that IVF patients have to go through and so they always try to get an answer (for good or for bad) as quickly as possible.
With that, I burst into tears. I just can't take the stress of more tests and waiting around all day to hear back from the office. Nick is doing a really good job of trying to comfort me and I just took another pregnancy test (strong as ever!) but I. Hate. This.
So, please send any spare good thoughts our way right now...I feel like we could use them. Will update as soon as I know something.
Praying to the Porcelain Gods
Or more aptly...wishing I was praying to the porcelain gods. The weird thing about pregnancy symptoms that no one really tells you is that they are oddly comforting. I mean, yeah - it's not exactly fun to get a whiff of a co-workers cologne and have to actively try not to puke on them, but as long as you're feeling the symptoms - theoretically, you're still pregnant.
Which is why I am quietly freaking out that for the last two days or so, some of my symptoms have diminished or altogether disappeared. It's terribly disconcerting and I debated whether or not I should even post about it, but the point of this blog (in addition to communicating with all of you) is to be an outlet, so this is the truth of how I feel. I even took another pregnancy test yesterday morning just to be sure (it came back SUPER positive) but I still feel anxious and unsettled.
I am so scared that we will come this far only to be disappointed again and I'm not sure if I could take that. We've tried all along to be cautiously optimistic (and we still are), but it's a lot easier when you don't think you're pregnant to move on to the next step, whatever that is. It just seems so inexplicably cruel for us to get this far and then not continue on with this pregnancy. I'm grasping for all of that calm and peacefulness I felt a few weeks ago and coming up short. In addition, work has been incredibly busy and stressful and I've been internalizing a lot of that stress in a way that is probably not healthy. I realized that a few days ago and had sort of a 'Come to Jesus' with myself about leaving work at work. If not for myself, but for our baby(ies).
The truth about the whole IVF process is that you never get a chance to relax and be comfortable with...anything. First, you're worrying about your eggs - how many are you going to make, are they big enough, etc. Then, you pass that hurdle and it's how many embryos are going to make it and how developed will they be. Then it's - are we pregnant? Then it's - will we continue to be pregnant? I'm not sure we'll relax until we're physically holding a baby and then, it's just a whole new set of worries. We had a brief respite last week while we basked in our excellent beta numbers, but now it's just back to worrying. I did just have a thought as I was sitting here typing this, though - all of this overly emotional stuff I'm doing right now- isn't THAT a symptom of pregnancy in and of itself? I hope so!
Which is why I am quietly freaking out that for the last two days or so, some of my symptoms have diminished or altogether disappeared. It's terribly disconcerting and I debated whether or not I should even post about it, but the point of this blog (in addition to communicating with all of you) is to be an outlet, so this is the truth of how I feel. I even took another pregnancy test yesterday morning just to be sure (it came back SUPER positive) but I still feel anxious and unsettled.
I am so scared that we will come this far only to be disappointed again and I'm not sure if I could take that. We've tried all along to be cautiously optimistic (and we still are), but it's a lot easier when you don't think you're pregnant to move on to the next step, whatever that is. It just seems so inexplicably cruel for us to get this far and then not continue on with this pregnancy. I'm grasping for all of that calm and peacefulness I felt a few weeks ago and coming up short. In addition, work has been incredibly busy and stressful and I've been internalizing a lot of that stress in a way that is probably not healthy. I realized that a few days ago and had sort of a 'Come to Jesus' with myself about leaving work at work. If not for myself, but for our baby(ies).
The truth about the whole IVF process is that you never get a chance to relax and be comfortable with...anything. First, you're worrying about your eggs - how many are you going to make, are they big enough, etc. Then, you pass that hurdle and it's how many embryos are going to make it and how developed will they be. Then it's - are we pregnant? Then it's - will we continue to be pregnant? I'm not sure we'll relax until we're physically holding a baby and then, it's just a whole new set of worries. We had a brief respite last week while we basked in our excellent beta numbers, but now it's just back to worrying. I did just have a thought as I was sitting here typing this, though - all of this overly emotional stuff I'm doing right now- isn't THAT a symptom of pregnancy in and of itself? I hope so!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Week 5
Hello! Yes, we're still alive. Just napping...a lot. Now that we are cautiously optimistic about this pregnancy, I decided I wanted to start documenting what's happening each week. Mostly so that, again, I can whip this out during opportune times (i.e. whiny teenager moments in the future) to prove all that I have SUFFERED YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD. So, I've shamelessly stolen from other blogs a weekly update format that starts now!
How Far Along: Uh, 5 weeks, I think? Pregnancy math is weird, yo.
Size of Baby: An orange seed.
What I'm Doing: Waiting for the home security system installers to arrive. Apparently to Nick, the introduction of young humans into our abode has triggered a strong caveman like NEED TO PROTECT.
Cravings: I don't think I'm really having any full blown cravings (as I am, after all, barely pregnant), but I rarely eat red meat and I've had it 3-4 times this week which is sort of unusual for me. Maybe I'm low in iron?
Sleep: Lots of it. So far today I woke up at 6:30am, read a book for a few hours, coerced Nick into taking me out to breakfast, took a nap, got a pedicure (Thanks, Jill!), took a nap, and now I'm up briefly but already dreaming of bedtime.
Sex of Baby: Unknown
Symptoms: mild nausea, cramping, fatigue, insane sniffing abilities (I sussed out some veggies going bad in the fridge without even opening the fridge!)
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm looking forward to next week: Buying a pregnancy book for dads so that I can quit making up answers to all of Nick's rapid-fire baby/pregnancy related questions. :)
Best moment of the week: A three-way tie - both of the calls from the nurse with our beta numbers along with a dinner last night to celebrate my friend Elizabeth's graduation from UMKC. E - starting working on your KC bucket list before you (sniff, sniff) leave us for Boulder!
Special thanks to: All of you for your calls, texts, emails, hugs and general well wishes. We are feeling the love, guys. Also, extra special thanks to Ashley for lending me some maternity pants and indulging my fear of waking up some day unable to button my regular pants. You're the best.
How Far Along: Uh, 5 weeks, I think? Pregnancy math is weird, yo.
Size of Baby: An orange seed.
What I'm Doing: Waiting for the home security system installers to arrive. Apparently to Nick, the introduction of young humans into our abode has triggered a strong caveman like NEED TO PROTECT.
Cravings: I don't think I'm really having any full blown cravings (as I am, after all, barely pregnant), but I rarely eat red meat and I've had it 3-4 times this week which is sort of unusual for me. Maybe I'm low in iron?
Sleep: Lots of it. So far today I woke up at 6:30am, read a book for a few hours, coerced Nick into taking me out to breakfast, took a nap, got a pedicure (Thanks, Jill!), took a nap, and now I'm up briefly but already dreaming of bedtime.
Sex of Baby: Unknown
Symptoms: mild nausea, cramping, fatigue, insane sniffing abilities (I sussed out some veggies going bad in the fridge without even opening the fridge!)
Fetal Movement: none
What I'm looking forward to next week: Buying a pregnancy book for dads so that I can quit making up answers to all of Nick's rapid-fire baby/pregnancy related questions. :)
Best moment of the week: A three-way tie - both of the calls from the nurse with our beta numbers along with a dinner last night to celebrate my friend Elizabeth's graduation from UMKC. E - starting working on your KC bucket list before you (sniff, sniff) leave us for Boulder!
Special thanks to: All of you for your calls, texts, emails, hugs and general well wishes. We are feeling the love, guys. Also, extra special thanks to Ashley for lending me some maternity pants and indulging my fear of waking up some day unable to button my regular pants. You're the best.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
831! 831! 831!
That's my new favorite number; the nurse finally called about an hour ago to give me the results. My numbers more than doubled and nearly tripled, so things look good for now. We'll go back in a few weeks for an ultrasound and get to see our baby(ies). Thanks for all the love and support! XOXO
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The Longest Day...
And I have no news!
There was some type of miscommunication with the lab and they forgot to pick up my sample. If I was able to reach through the phone and throttle someone, I would have. However, they now have the sample and are running it tonight and I'll have results tomorrow.
In possibly good news, either the anxiety of waiting all day or morning sickness has kicked in and I currently am trying not to puke. You're welcome.
Continued thanks for all your good wishes! XO
There was some type of miscommunication with the lab and they forgot to pick up my sample. If I was able to reach through the phone and throttle someone, I would have. However, they now have the sample and are running it tonight and I'll have results tomorrow.
In possibly good news, either the anxiety of waiting all day or morning sickness has kicked in and I currently am trying not to puke. You're welcome.
Continued thanks for all your good wishes! XO
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Three (hundred) IS a magic number!
WE ARE PREGNANT!
Or more accurately, I am pregnant. Today was our blood test at the doctor's office in Olathe...so once again, we made the 50 minute trek out there for blood work. Only this time, rather than anxiousness, we felt mildly nervous but mostly excited anticipation.
Why? Because we've been getting positive tests at home since Thursday. I know - I said I wasn't going to do that, didn't I. And really - I had no intentions to take a test until maybe the day of the blood test at the doctor. I'll be honest - after the transfer, I thought the peace I was feeling was God's way of preparing me for disappointment. I had already told Nick I had to take the summer off before taking any next steps and I was planning a mini-triathlon and a full triathlon for the end of the summer.
But, I don't know - things just felt...different this time as each day progressed. I had a lot of cramping, a couple of bouts of nausea, things tasted funny. I had been fooled before and so I was trying not to read too much into it. Then, on Thursday morning, I took a test on a whim. Thursday was 6 days past my transfer...so pretty early for a positive still, but not out of the realm of possibility. Imagine my surprise when a line, albeit a light line, popped up right away. I bounded Tigger-style into our room and woke Nick up to tell him. He blinked sleepily and eventually agreed with my assessment of a line. The next day, I took another test - Nick asked "it's getting darker - is that good or bad?" It's good, hon. Saturday's test was nearly as dark as the control line and after co-hosting a shower, I decided to chance it and take a test on a digital pregnancy test. Digital tests typically aren't as sensitive as the control line tests, so I was a little worried. The stupid timer that blinks on the digital was maddening but after 20 seconds or so, the magic word 'pregnant' appeared. I did a little dance and texted the picture to Nick.
So, today - we did the blood test (first try!) and headed out to breakfast. We had only been home for 15-20 minutes when the nurse called and said "It's official. You're pregnant!" Our beta test number was 300 (the test measures the hCG in your system) which is quite high. We're scheduled for another test on Tuesday - at that time, they'll want the beta to have doubled or nearly doubled to indicate a normal pregnancy.
We are still cautiously optimistic but it's starting to sink in that this could be real. We have a long ways to go, but this is the farthest we've gotten yet and we plan to enjoy every second of it. That said, don't expect any announcements on Facebook or to extended family and friends (well, except for you guys!) until the first trimester is over. There's just too much that could happen between now and then, but you all have been so supportive that we couldn't not share the happy news with you.
Or more accurately, I am pregnant. Today was our blood test at the doctor's office in Olathe...so once again, we made the 50 minute trek out there for blood work. Only this time, rather than anxiousness, we felt mildly nervous but mostly excited anticipation.
Why? Because we've been getting positive tests at home since Thursday. I know - I said I wasn't going to do that, didn't I. And really - I had no intentions to take a test until maybe the day of the blood test at the doctor. I'll be honest - after the transfer, I thought the peace I was feeling was God's way of preparing me for disappointment. I had already told Nick I had to take the summer off before taking any next steps and I was planning a mini-triathlon and a full triathlon for the end of the summer.
But, I don't know - things just felt...different this time as each day progressed. I had a lot of cramping, a couple of bouts of nausea, things tasted funny. I had been fooled before and so I was trying not to read too much into it. Then, on Thursday morning, I took a test on a whim. Thursday was 6 days past my transfer...so pretty early for a positive still, but not out of the realm of possibility. Imagine my surprise when a line, albeit a light line, popped up right away. I bounded Tigger-style into our room and woke Nick up to tell him. He blinked sleepily and eventually agreed with my assessment of a line. The next day, I took another test - Nick asked "it's getting darker - is that good or bad?" It's good, hon. Saturday's test was nearly as dark as the control line and after co-hosting a shower, I decided to chance it and take a test on a digital pregnancy test. Digital tests typically aren't as sensitive as the control line tests, so I was a little worried. The stupid timer that blinks on the digital was maddening but after 20 seconds or so, the magic word 'pregnant' appeared. I did a little dance and texted the picture to Nick.
So, today - we did the blood test (first try!) and headed out to breakfast. We had only been home for 15-20 minutes when the nurse called and said "It's official. You're pregnant!" Our beta test number was 300 (the test measures the hCG in your system) which is quite high. We're scheduled for another test on Tuesday - at that time, they'll want the beta to have doubled or nearly doubled to indicate a normal pregnancy.
We are still cautiously optimistic but it's starting to sink in that this could be real. We have a long ways to go, but this is the farthest we've gotten yet and we plan to enjoy every second of it. That said, don't expect any announcements on Facebook or to extended family and friends (well, except for you guys!) until the first trimester is over. There's just too much that could happen between now and then, but you all have been so supportive that we couldn't not share the happy news with you.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Acupuncture humor
Okay, just another quick post. A bonus, if you will.
Today I had an acupuncture appointment. Of course, Shamayne grilled me about how I was feeling and what symptoms (if any) I was having. We had a long conversation about what her early pregnancy symptoms were (gas, in case you were wondering). I told her about the transfer and that we had decided to transfer three embryos since the quality wasn't very good and our chance of triplets was incredibly low. She said 'Well, how would you feel if you ended up with triplets?' At the time, she happened to be checking my pulse and before I could even answer, she said 'Okay, your pulse just jumped so that answers that question.'
Then, she asked me if I was having any cramping and I told her I was. She assured me this was a good sign and could just be my body getting ready for pregnancy. She explained the different hormones that are released throughout pregnancy and at one point was talking about how pitocin makes you fall in love with your baby. Except then she said 'Or babies....'. To which I replied 'Shamayne, I come here to chill out. Quit talking about triplets!'
After I had a good zone-out and was preparing to leave, I promised to update her when I knew something. She squeezed my hand and said 'I'll be on pins and needles.' I snickered and before I could even say 'you must get a lot of mileage out of that joke', she looked horrified and said 'I've never said that before. Ever! I can't believe I just said that.' I thought it was hysterical and told her so. I'm always glad to be the recipient of an excellent corny joke. Just ask my Dad. :)
Today I had an acupuncture appointment. Of course, Shamayne grilled me about how I was feeling and what symptoms (if any) I was having. We had a long conversation about what her early pregnancy symptoms were (gas, in case you were wondering). I told her about the transfer and that we had decided to transfer three embryos since the quality wasn't very good and our chance of triplets was incredibly low. She said 'Well, how would you feel if you ended up with triplets?' At the time, she happened to be checking my pulse and before I could even answer, she said 'Okay, your pulse just jumped so that answers that question.'
Then, she asked me if I was having any cramping and I told her I was. She assured me this was a good sign and could just be my body getting ready for pregnancy. She explained the different hormones that are released throughout pregnancy and at one point was talking about how pitocin makes you fall in love with your baby. Except then she said 'Or babies....'. To which I replied 'Shamayne, I come here to chill out. Quit talking about triplets!'
After I had a good zone-out and was preparing to leave, I promised to update her when I knew something. She squeezed my hand and said 'I'll be on pins and needles.' I snickered and before I could even say 'you must get a lot of mileage out of that joke', she looked horrified and said 'I've never said that before. Ever! I can't believe I just said that.' I thought it was hysterical and told her so. I'm always glad to be the recipient of an excellent corny joke. Just ask my Dad. :)
Yes, I am still alive. :)
Just a quick note to say, yes I am alive and well. Just not much to report right now! Trying to continue to be patient and I'm still feeling very peaceful. Nick is riding his bike everyday and I've been working a lot and also trying to get ready for a shower I'm co-hosting this weekend...more on that later. Thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers! XO
Monday, April 23, 2012
Where we're at...
Just a quick update... we did find out this weekend that we would not have any embryos to freeze. It's incredibly dissapointing, but we don't have much choice but to accept it and move on. I am feeling strangely calm...and as I told Nick - I'm 'giving this to God'. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I do know that I can no longer take the highs and lows so I am choosing to be hopeful but not expectant, realistic but not negative. I don't even think I'm going to take any pregnancy tests at home this time which is a huge departure from all of our other cycles. And I feel confident that whatever happens, we will handle, just as we have previously. That said, we could use a lot of good thougths and prayers this way, so please keep them coming! I am very grateful for the calm that I've been granted and hope that it continues. XOXO
Friday, April 20, 2012
And now we wait.
Everything went well with the embryo transfer...it was textbook perfect, as all of our transfers have been. Unfortunately, we did not fare as well in the embryo quality department. On our last fresh cycle in October, we had two blastocysts to transfer. Today, we only had one blastocyst and it was slightly less developed than the October ones. The rest were mostly still morulas. After a long discussion with our doctor, we decided to transfer the blastocyst and two additional morulas (the two best looking ones). They will monitor the rest of the morulas and hope that they turn into blastocysts for freezing, but the doctor said based on our previous cycles, he was not feeling positive that we would have any to freeze this time.
Transferring three embryos does increase our odds for triplets, however we have transferred (respectively) 2, 2, and 3 embryos each cycle and not gotten pregnant, so for someone with that type of track record, twins or triplets would be highly unusual. Our doctor is very conservative so I trust his advice.
It's really, really frustrating. It's not that I don't produce good embryos...I do. Just very few each time. We really thought this new protocol was going to be a game-changer and it was not. However, I have no choice but to be as positive as possible and hope for the best for the three little embryos in my uterus. Stress is the enemy so you're probably going to see me doing a lot of deep breathing this week. :)
Also, it's official. The waiting around after the transfer with a full bladder is by far the WORST part of IVF by far. I hate it more than the injections, more than the side effects from the hormones, more than the IV and more than the pain of the retrieval. Below, you see a photo of a woman desperately trying not to piss herself. :) Continued thanks for all your well wishes and prayers and extra special thanks to the two ladies that keep reminding me that if everything about this cycle is different than previous cycles...that's a good thing! XOXO
Transferring three embryos does increase our odds for triplets, however we have transferred (respectively) 2, 2, and 3 embryos each cycle and not gotten pregnant, so for someone with that type of track record, twins or triplets would be highly unusual. Our doctor is very conservative so I trust his advice.
It's really, really frustrating. It's not that I don't produce good embryos...I do. Just very few each time. We really thought this new protocol was going to be a game-changer and it was not. However, I have no choice but to be as positive as possible and hope for the best for the three little embryos in my uterus. Stress is the enemy so you're probably going to see me doing a lot of deep breathing this week. :)
Also, it's official. The waiting around after the transfer with a full bladder is by far the WORST part of IVF by far. I hate it more than the injections, more than the side effects from the hormones, more than the IV and more than the pain of the retrieval. Below, you see a photo of a woman desperately trying not to piss herself. :) Continued thanks for all your well wishes and prayers and extra special thanks to the two ladies that keep reminding me that if everything about this cycle is different than previous cycles...that's a good thing! XOXO
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Morula Schmorula
Update! And a good one at that...another of our embryos decided to start growing so that puts us up to ten...however it's only a two cell and we still have another that's a six cell so likely neither of those will make it to freeze.
However, of the other eight - five have made it to the morula stage which is the stage right before blastocyst. Blastocysts are what we want tomorrow to transfer. Plus, the other remaining three are continuing to grow and may catch up tomorrow or the next day. Yay!
However, of the other eight - five have made it to the morula stage which is the stage right before blastocyst. Blastocysts are what we want tomorrow to transfer. Plus, the other remaining three are continuing to grow and may catch up tomorrow or the next day. Yay!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Day 3 updates
Hopefully you subscribe to the 'no news is good news' philosophy since I skipped yesterday's update. I had a crazy day at work and then got home and crashed. We did get news yesterday that the nine embryos were all still continuing to grow.
This morning, we got more details about our nine, which is as follows:
-3 9-cell embryos
-5 8-cell embryos
-1 4-cell embryo (this is the only embryo not really in play anymore)
They want to see about four 8-cell embryos on this day so we are in good shape. Last cycle on this same day, we had:
-10 8-cell embryos
-6 6-cell embryos
-2 4-cell embryos
-2 2-cell embryos
So last cycle, we had 10 out of 20 embryos in play, whereas this cycle we have 8 out of 9...I think that points to overall improved embryo quality.
In other news...I saw another amazing rainbow today...like, probably the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. Each of our previous three cycles, we've looked for 'signs' - the paw print from Carl, the fortune cookies, a transfer on my birthday. I promised myself that I WOULD NOT DO THAT THIS CYCLE. But, I guess I am forever an optimist and I can't help but see these things as good luck. :)
Finally, I have been reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson and oh, friends - my sides...they are splitting. Lawson's book is a memoir of her childhood growing up in rural Texas with a less-than-traditional family including her taxidermist father (that's a father that is a taxidermist...not a father that has BEEN taxidermied...just to be clear). I was reading parts of it aloud to Nick (against his will...but he was folding laundry and kind of a captive audience) and I could barely get through some of it, I was laughing so hard. It's completely irreverent and managed to keep me from focusing on the stress of IVF for a few hours, so that certainly says something.
My transfer has been schedule for 7:30 am on Friday so send some good thoughts our way then. XOXO
This morning, we got more details about our nine, which is as follows:
-3 9-cell embryos
-5 8-cell embryos
-1 4-cell embryo (this is the only embryo not really in play anymore)
They want to see about four 8-cell embryos on this day so we are in good shape. Last cycle on this same day, we had:
-10 8-cell embryos
-6 6-cell embryos
-2 4-cell embryos
-2 2-cell embryos
So last cycle, we had 10 out of 20 embryos in play, whereas this cycle we have 8 out of 9...I think that points to overall improved embryo quality.
In other news...I saw another amazing rainbow today...like, probably the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. Each of our previous three cycles, we've looked for 'signs' - the paw print from Carl, the fortune cookies, a transfer on my birthday. I promised myself that I WOULD NOT DO THAT THIS CYCLE. But, I guess I am forever an optimist and I can't help but see these things as good luck. :)
Finally, I have been reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson and oh, friends - my sides...they are splitting. Lawson's book is a memoir of her childhood growing up in rural Texas with a less-than-traditional family including her taxidermist father (that's a father that is a taxidermist...not a father that has BEEN taxidermied...just to be clear). I was reading parts of it aloud to Nick (against his will...but he was folding laundry and kind of a captive audience) and I could barely get through some of it, I was laughing so hard. It's completely irreverent and managed to keep me from focusing on the stress of IVF for a few hours, so that certainly says something.
My transfer has been schedule for 7:30 am on Friday so send some good thoughts our way then. XOXO
Monday, April 16, 2012
My Ability to Obsess Knows No Bounds
So, first a quick update and then a moderately humorous story about this weekend.
Update: the doctor's office called and nine of our 15 eggs have fertilized...some may start to tomorrow as well. We are cautiously optimistic!
Story...so once the pressure of 'will we or won't we cancel this cycle' lifted, I found myself distinctly lacking anything to obsess over. Fortunately, I believe it is the job of weather people to scare the living jeebus out of all of humanity, so I quickly found a replacement anxiety...tornadoes! Before I go any further in the story, let me say - I am so glad that the tornado this weekend in Witchita didn't cause any fatalities but I'm terribly sorry for the damage it, and other tornadoes around the country did. I am not making light of any of those situations. Tornadoes are truly scary and as we saw in Joplin last year, devastating at times. The point of this story is to, well, illustrate how my craziness knows no bounds...not to make light of the seriousness of the situation.
That said, I think we can all agree that any possibility for extreme weather does seem to get the weather folk hyped up into a near frenzy...Al Roker was practically foaming at the mouth...this weekend's severe weather outbreak was no different. All I heard for 48 hours was "potential for massive tornado outbreaks", "major hail and wind damage", and "dangerous lightning". Then, they started referencing 'emergency kits'.
My only real experience with emergency kits is the bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips I keep in the pantry for uncontrollable chocolate cravings, but I quickly realized this was not the same thing. Words like 'weather radios' and 'rations' were bandied about. And of course, this winter has been completely bizarre...so all of this information added up into my head to...must make emergency kit to survive (surely) impending tornado. I don't really know what it was in me that decided this was Doomsday-worthy, but I hightailed it over to RadioShack to pick up a weather radio.
Apparently, along with all of the rest of Kansas City. The sales clerk glared at me (I waited until 3pm on Saturday to freak out...I guess the rest of the city was ahead of my own personal Impending Doom Clock) and informed me that all she had left were the non-'wake you up' weather radios. I told her I wasn't even aware 'waking me up' was an option but since I can't sleep through my cat yakking on the carpet, I didn't really foresee this as a problem. She showed me to the pile of picked over weather radios and began to catalog the various differences (Solar powered but not battery powered! Hand crank powered but not solar powered! Charges your cell phone! Flashlight! Performs minor surgeries!). Not wanting to appear ignorant of the important features in a weather radio, I did what I typically default to in shopping situations. Which is the prettiest at the best price? I'll take that one.
And so, I took my weather radio home (after having bought an insane amount of batteries, as well) opened it up and stuck some batteries in. I felt better already! Smugly, I looked down the street at my neighbors...surely, THEY didn't have weather radios and mentally catalogued which neighbors I would have to inform of Impending Doom.
Next, I needed to create an emergency kit. I scoured the house looking for emergency kit worthy items, which included:
-bottles of water
-Kashi granola bars
-a half empty bottle of hand sanitizer
-Clean clothes and a spare pair of shoes for myself (I allotted Nick some space in the kit for his own clean clothes but he grunted at me...a kind of grunt that seemed to imply I was WASTING MY TIME)
-Extra hair ties
-Baby wipes
-Extra cat food and cat food dishes
-Medicines
-Wedding photos
-Folder with our important documents in it
-Flashlights
-Extra cell phone charger
-Extra cell phone batteries
-laptop
-toilet paper and paper towels
-camera
Frankly, for a spur of the moment emergency kit, I was quite pleased with myself. However, this did take up two duffel bags...and I quickly realized I would also need to grab the cats and head to the basement along with the bags. I practiced a couple of 'cat grab and bag grab' maneuvers down the stairs and timed myself...about 45 seconds (would have been shorter but Ernie got away from me - I ended up sticking him in the back, zipping it up. I left his head out - don't worry!). I had forgotten in my calculations that the other cat, Zoe, ALWAYS heads to the basement automatically during the storms so I wouldn't have to worry about her.
I felt pretty content with my last minute preparations and settled down with Nick for a quiet evening at home. As luck would have it, my preparations were completely unnecessary, as the storms missed us almost completely. Unfortunately, Nebraska, Iowa and Kansas were not so lucky, but I thank my lucky stars that we were missed this time. In all seriousness - I don't know why I've never really given much thought to emergency preparations, but I think I'm going to work on creating a 'real' emergency kit given our location in Tornado Alley. There are some great lists on Pinterest that break up the items you need to purchase by month or week so it's not such an up-front cost. Plus, it's exactly the type of activity to distract me from embryo-update and pregnancy-test waiting. :)
Update: the doctor's office called and nine of our 15 eggs have fertilized...some may start to tomorrow as well. We are cautiously optimistic!
Story...so once the pressure of 'will we or won't we cancel this cycle' lifted, I found myself distinctly lacking anything to obsess over. Fortunately, I believe it is the job of weather people to scare the living jeebus out of all of humanity, so I quickly found a replacement anxiety...tornadoes! Before I go any further in the story, let me say - I am so glad that the tornado this weekend in Witchita didn't cause any fatalities but I'm terribly sorry for the damage it, and other tornadoes around the country did. I am not making light of any of those situations. Tornadoes are truly scary and as we saw in Joplin last year, devastating at times. The point of this story is to, well, illustrate how my craziness knows no bounds...not to make light of the seriousness of the situation.
That said, I think we can all agree that any possibility for extreme weather does seem to get the weather folk hyped up into a near frenzy...Al Roker was practically foaming at the mouth...this weekend's severe weather outbreak was no different. All I heard for 48 hours was "potential for massive tornado outbreaks", "major hail and wind damage", and "dangerous lightning". Then, they started referencing 'emergency kits'.
My only real experience with emergency kits is the bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips I keep in the pantry for uncontrollable chocolate cravings, but I quickly realized this was not the same thing. Words like 'weather radios' and 'rations' were bandied about. And of course, this winter has been completely bizarre...so all of this information added up into my head to...must make emergency kit to survive (surely) impending tornado. I don't really know what it was in me that decided this was Doomsday-worthy, but I hightailed it over to RadioShack to pick up a weather radio.
Apparently, along with all of the rest of Kansas City. The sales clerk glared at me (I waited until 3pm on Saturday to freak out...I guess the rest of the city was ahead of my own personal Impending Doom Clock) and informed me that all she had left were the non-'wake you up' weather radios. I told her I wasn't even aware 'waking me up' was an option but since I can't sleep through my cat yakking on the carpet, I didn't really foresee this as a problem. She showed me to the pile of picked over weather radios and began to catalog the various differences (Solar powered but not battery powered! Hand crank powered but not solar powered! Charges your cell phone! Flashlight! Performs minor surgeries!). Not wanting to appear ignorant of the important features in a weather radio, I did what I typically default to in shopping situations. Which is the prettiest at the best price? I'll take that one.
And so, I took my weather radio home (after having bought an insane amount of batteries, as well) opened it up and stuck some batteries in. I felt better already! Smugly, I looked down the street at my neighbors...surely, THEY didn't have weather radios and mentally catalogued which neighbors I would have to inform of Impending Doom.
Next, I needed to create an emergency kit. I scoured the house looking for emergency kit worthy items, which included:
-bottles of water
-Kashi granola bars
-a half empty bottle of hand sanitizer
-Clean clothes and a spare pair of shoes for myself (I allotted Nick some space in the kit for his own clean clothes but he grunted at me...a kind of grunt that seemed to imply I was WASTING MY TIME)
-Extra hair ties
-Baby wipes
-Extra cat food and cat food dishes
-Medicines
-Wedding photos
-Folder with our important documents in it
-Flashlights
-Extra cell phone charger
-Extra cell phone batteries
-laptop
-toilet paper and paper towels
-camera
Frankly, for a spur of the moment emergency kit, I was quite pleased with myself. However, this did take up two duffel bags...and I quickly realized I would also need to grab the cats and head to the basement along with the bags. I practiced a couple of 'cat grab and bag grab' maneuvers down the stairs and timed myself...about 45 seconds (would have been shorter but Ernie got away from me - I ended up sticking him in the back, zipping it up. I left his head out - don't worry!). I had forgotten in my calculations that the other cat, Zoe, ALWAYS heads to the basement automatically during the storms so I wouldn't have to worry about her.
I felt pretty content with my last minute preparations and settled down with Nick for a quiet evening at home. As luck would have it, my preparations were completely unnecessary, as the storms missed us almost completely. Unfortunately, Nebraska, Iowa and Kansas were not so lucky, but I thank my lucky stars that we were missed this time. In all seriousness - I don't know why I've never really given much thought to emergency preparations, but I think I'm going to work on creating a 'real' emergency kit given our location in Tornado Alley. There are some great lists on Pinterest that break up the items you need to purchase by month or week so it's not such an up-front cost. Plus, it's exactly the type of activity to distract me from embryo-update and pregnancy-test waiting. :)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
A Day in Pictures
Some scenes from today...
Post procedure snuggling with Ernie...
Rainbow we saw right before walking into the doctor's office...
More gratuitous Ernie pics...
Also, we had a call from the embryologist...they were able to fertilize 15 of our 17 eggs so that's great news! Hoping for continued good news each day!
Also, we had a call from the embryologist...they were able to fertilize 15 of our 17 eggs so that's great news! Hoping for continued good news each day!
All done!
Just got home from the egg retrieval...it went very well. They were able to get 17 eggs which is exactly within the range we were hoping for. The doctor said that even though it took longer he's much happier with the results of this cycle so far. So now we wait for our daily embryo reports.
In the meantime, within arms reach - I have several bottles of water, a small breakfast from Panera (egg souffle!), my Nook, my laptop, my cell phone, and the TV remote. Oh, and my pain meds and Tylenol. I'm going to try and avoid taking any more of the pain meds because they make me feel sick but we'll see how it goes. They did give me some Zofran this time for the nausea that I typically get after anaesthesia so that was nice.
And it wouldn't be a blog entry from me if there wasn't some vein-related issue. Today, it took a nurse and two anaesthesiologists to get my IV in. They seemed a little dumb-founded but I assured them it was me, not them. :)
Nurse Nick is telling me I need to sleep, so off I go! XOXO
In the meantime, within arms reach - I have several bottles of water, a small breakfast from Panera (egg souffle!), my Nook, my laptop, my cell phone, and the TV remote. Oh, and my pain meds and Tylenol. I'm going to try and avoid taking any more of the pain meds because they make me feel sick but we'll see how it goes. They did give me some Zofran this time for the nausea that I typically get after anaesthesia so that was nice.
And it wouldn't be a blog entry from me if there wasn't some vein-related issue. Today, it took a nurse and two anaesthesiologists to get my IV in. They seemed a little dumb-founded but I assured them it was me, not them. :)
Nurse Nick is telling me I need to sleep, so off I go! XOXO
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The One Where Nick and Sarah Catch a Break
Well, it took nearly a week longer than expected, but my follicles finally got to where they needed to be. We had plenty of growth over the last four days (we had an 18mm, 17mm, and some 16mms, 15mms and 14mms) so we are on for a retrieval on Sunday. My biggest concern was that I was going to be borderline and we'd be forced to make a decision. I know we would have been conservative and cancelled the cycle, but still - being forced to make that decision isn't easy. I was SO excited to see all the big follicles on the ultrasound; the doctor and I both knew immediately when he looked at the first ovary that things looked good. I was exactly where he had hoped I would be and he estimates that I'll end up with 15-20 eggs from the retrieval...much better than the 35 I had last time.
Although, even with as great as things looked, I did put on my best 'mean Sarah' face and quiz the doctor about whether he was absolutely 100% sure that we should go on with the cycle. The doctor seemed nonplussed and assured me that we were in good shape. Of course, I was doing this from the stirrups so perhaps my meanness didn't really come across as well as I intended.
I was so delighted I didn't even mind when a new nurse decided to try and take my blood. I sat there chattering happily until I noticed the needle was in my arm and nothing was coming out. Sarah's Pathetic Veins Strike Again! I told her to go get the 'good nurse' (I didn't call her that - I used her name)...this nurse has gotten me on the first try three times in a row and now I pretty much only want her to take the blood. As predicted, she got it on the first try and I went on my merry way. I still have to get the blood results back but there's no reason to think those will change the plans at this point.
Hooo---rrr----aaa---yyyy!!! (spell check just went crazy on this!)
Although, even with as great as things looked, I did put on my best 'mean Sarah' face and quiz the doctor about whether he was absolutely 100% sure that we should go on with the cycle. The doctor seemed nonplussed and assured me that we were in good shape. Of course, I was doing this from the stirrups so perhaps my meanness didn't really come across as well as I intended.
I was so delighted I didn't even mind when a new nurse decided to try and take my blood. I sat there chattering happily until I noticed the needle was in my arm and nothing was coming out. Sarah's Pathetic Veins Strike Again! I told her to go get the 'good nurse' (I didn't call her that - I used her name)...this nurse has gotten me on the first try three times in a row and now I pretty much only want her to take the blood. As predicted, she got it on the first try and I went on my merry way. I still have to get the blood results back but there's no reason to think those will change the plans at this point.
Hooo---rrr----aaa---yyyy!!! (spell check just went crazy on this!)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Miscellany
- Just wanted to take a moment to brag on Nicholas. He has been so amazing throughout this entire process but particularly during our most recent struggles. I've been offered daily foot massages (he's been doing Internet research on how to relieve headaches with foot massages!), lots of extra help around the house and just general pampering and kindness. He's also put up with a few irrational outbursts from me (i.e. yesterday when I was on the phone with him re: my car's check engine light being on which culminated in me screeching 'I just need it to be fixxxeeeeeedddddd!') without complaint or judgement.
- Although to be fair, I have spent the last year being poked and prodded so that we may have a child together. Daily foot massages seem about right.
- Someone asked me what else we did with the in-laws this past weekend, so briefly - Boulevard Brewery Tour (this is my favorite brewery tour EVER as their emphasis was on the sampling and not the touring), WWI museum, dinner at Jack Stack and drinks at Manifesto. If you are in KC and haven't gone to Manifesto, you must. It's a speakeasy in the basement of the Hotel Rieger restaurant and so much fun. You have to text a phone number to get reservations and then you can enter by being buzzed in through an alley door (although we cheated and walked through the restaurant). The drinks are truly amazing. I had a 'Winter in Buenos Aires' which was both tropical and reminiscent of fall.
- We also had this brunch lasagna on Easter Sunday. I know - brunch lasagna? I hadn't heard of it either but I was so intrigued that I just had to make it. Unfortunately, I hadn't read the directions very closely and nearly missed the part about it needing to be made the NIGHT BEFORE you plan to eat it. Luckily, my mother in law, Rose, and sister in law, Becky stepped in and helped me put it together...there were like a bazillion steps. And pretty much the only breakfast food not represented was bacon. Although I suppose you could add that if so inclined. :) At any rate, it was divine. I am still dreaming of it.
- Nick and I were so sad to see his family go, BUT we will be seeing them, as well as his younger brother and his wife, Dan and Lus, my mom and dad and my aunt and uncle ,in just about a month when we head to Memphis for the Memphis in May BBQ competition. More to come on that later...
- I looked up my estradiol/follicle levels from my first cycle and I was at Day 12 where I was at Day 5 at our cycle in St. Louis with Silber. You could take that as depressing, I suppose, but right after that Day 5 in St. Louis, my follicle growth sort of exploded so I'm hoping the same will happen again. My doctor is calling this past Friday my 'new' Day 1 since the first week didn't count. (not that I'm bitter or anything).
- On the agenda for tonight - forced relaxation! I am trying really, really hard not to fuss around the house and just be quiet and still and breathe and focus on being zen and blah blah blah. I read somewhere this weekend that stress is the enemy of follicle growth and so now, I'm going for the GOLD STAR OF RELAXATION. Pretty much the best goal ever.
Quick update
Hello, all!
Just a quick note to say that the nurse called with my estradiol numbers yesterday and they have climbed up to 200, which is a good sign. We still have a long way to go in the next few days but they are moving in the right direction. And, I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable in my stomach and couldn't be more delighted. Hopefully that means the follicles are growing.
Again, thanks for all your good thoughts, messages and phone calls!
XO
Just a quick note to say that the nurse called with my estradiol numbers yesterday and they have climbed up to 200, which is a good sign. We still have a long way to go in the next few days but they are moving in the right direction. And, I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable in my stomach and couldn't be more delighted. Hopefully that means the follicles are growing.
Again, thanks for all your good thoughts, messages and phone calls!
XO
Monday, April 9, 2012
Chanelling Goldilocks
I had another follicle check and bloodwork this morning. The news is...fair to middlin'. Of the 12-15 follicles I have on each ovary, only about 4-5 total (both ovaries) grew beyond 10mm. They ranged from 11mm-14mm. The doctor was hoping to see a lot of 15-16mm follicles. So, the new plan is potentially an increased dose of the stims (again...this will the third time we've increased) and my retrieval has been pushed back (again) to either Saturday or Sunday at the earliest. I will go back for another follicle check and bloodwork on Thursday. If the doctor sees good growth at that point, we will continue on with the cycle. If they are still not growing, we'll cancel the cycle. I am as okay as I can be with the idea of cancelling the cycle. On the one hand, it is such a psychological blow. It's just more waiting and being anxious. And it just takes so much mental, spiritual and physical energy. However, I also don't want to proceed with a cycle that isn't set up for success. So, if the cycle gets cancelled, we'll just have to pay for the meds and ultrasounds/bloodwork we've had to this point again. Which is annoying, but again - the important thing is that the cycle is successful, so we will put up with whatever we have to in order for it to happen.
I still am a little bewildered that where I have responded TOO MUCH in prior cycles, I'm now not responding enough. I feel like Goldilocks...I need to find the 'just right' dose of stims. Thanks for all the good thoughts! Here's hoping I start feeling really, really uncomfortable in the next couple of days...it will be a good sign. :)
I still am a little bewildered that where I have responded TOO MUCH in prior cycles, I'm now not responding enough. I feel like Goldilocks...I need to find the 'just right' dose of stims. Thanks for all the good thoughts! Here's hoping I start feeling really, really uncomfortable in the next couple of days...it will be a good sign. :)
Saturday, April 7, 2012
There's no crying (or winning) in IVF
Does anyone remember that song by Soul Asylum - "Frustrated, Incorporated"? Yeah, that is kind of where I am at right now. I had my follicle check yesterday morning and my follicles had barely grown. Grrr. This new protocol has me on a lower dose of stims since I've over stimulated previously...I had, like, the Jackie Joyner Kersee of ovaries...sprinting to the finish. This time, they are poking along like...well, me, if I had to run against Jackie Joyner Kersee. Adding to my stress, my estradiol levels dropped which the nurse and doctor told me can happen when I added in the ganirelix but it is still a psychological blow.
What does all of this mean? My retrieval is being pushed back from either Tuesday/Wednesday to Thursday/Friday. In addition, my RE is increasing the dosage of my stims. I had to order more medications in order to make it that long. So more days of being uncomfortable and anxious. And re-arranging my work schedule. That part actually stresses me out quite a bit...it's hard to call volunteers and say, 'uh, I need to reschedule our meeting because I have slow ovaries'. Hooray!
In 'let's focus on the positive' news, my RE did say that on this protocol the danger of over stimulating is almost non-existent which for me means that they can continue to stim me as long as needed to get where I need to be. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon, blah blah blah. I just need these damn follicles to grow.
Nick has been very supportive and encouraging. We are both scared and anxious but hoping for the best. Luckily, we had a lot of distraction yesterday. His parents and brother and sister-in-law are all visiting us for Easter. Yesterday, we checked out the Titanic exhibit at Union Station (you'll be pleased to know that I refrained from forcing any of my in-laws to re-create Jack and Rose's 'I'm on top of the world' scene on the front of the ship) and then had an amazing lunch at Gram and Dun. I have been eating really well lately in an attempt to reduce some of my bloating and discomfort. That sort of went out the window yesterday but I figured I had earned it. My sister-in-law Becky and I shared the beer can chicken sandwich and chicken and waffles. Yum. Then we all sort of carb crashed and headed home for a nap. We stayed in last night and made dinner. Nick did a stuffed pork loin and salmon on the grill and I made some roasted potatoes and our favorite spinach salad. My parents joined us and my mom brought an amazing tiramisu that I'm currently trying to pretend isn't in the refrigerator and wouldn't make a great breakfast.
Lots of fun stuff today planned so I'm off! Please send some good thoughts our way! XO
What does all of this mean? My retrieval is being pushed back from either Tuesday/Wednesday to Thursday/Friday. In addition, my RE is increasing the dosage of my stims. I had to order more medications in order to make it that long. So more days of being uncomfortable and anxious. And re-arranging my work schedule. That part actually stresses me out quite a bit...it's hard to call volunteers and say, 'uh, I need to reschedule our meeting because I have slow ovaries'. Hooray!
In 'let's focus on the positive' news, my RE did say that on this protocol the danger of over stimulating is almost non-existent which for me means that they can continue to stim me as long as needed to get where I need to be. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon, blah blah blah. I just need these damn follicles to grow.
Nick has been very supportive and encouraging. We are both scared and anxious but hoping for the best. Luckily, we had a lot of distraction yesterday. His parents and brother and sister-in-law are all visiting us for Easter. Yesterday, we checked out the Titanic exhibit at Union Station (you'll be pleased to know that I refrained from forcing any of my in-laws to re-create Jack and Rose's 'I'm on top of the world' scene on the front of the ship) and then had an amazing lunch at Gram and Dun. I have been eating really well lately in an attempt to reduce some of my bloating and discomfort. That sort of went out the window yesterday but I figured I had earned it. My sister-in-law Becky and I shared the beer can chicken sandwich and chicken and waffles. Yum. Then we all sort of carb crashed and headed home for a nap. We stayed in last night and made dinner. Nick did a stuffed pork loin and salmon on the grill and I made some roasted potatoes and our favorite spinach salad. My parents joined us and my mom brought an amazing tiramisu that I'm currently trying to pretend isn't in the refrigerator and wouldn't make a great breakfast.
Lots of fun stuff today planned so I'm off! Please send some good thoughts our way! XO
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Anxiety can be excellent motivation
I've had a lot of nervous energy the last few weeks...a lot. Sure, I've been doing all of the things I'm supposed to - deep breathing, acupuncture, meditating, etc etc etc. I even found my way to an infertility therapist and she's been helping with some additional relaxation techniques (sidenote: she told me I was surprisingly well-adjusted and self-aware for someone who has been trying to get pregnant for so long...even in therapy, I get a gold star!).
The upside of all this nervous energy is that I've been fairly productive at work and home. Mostly the latter, though. I've cleaned closets and drawers, re-arranged shelves, hung artwork, taken FIVE boxes of books to the Goodwill, hung curtains, and just generally puttered and fussed around the house. In fairness, part of this is because of a couple of events I'm hosting at the house, but it has certainly helped keep my mind occupied.
In fact, as I type this, I'm taking a break from cleaning the linen closet. And...I just ironed pillowcases, which I almost never do. But Nick's family is coming to visit this weekend and I was getting one of the spare beds ready, I noticed the pillowcase was pretty wrinkly, so I started to iron it. Fast forward 45 minutes later and I had ironed ALL the pillowcases in the house. Haberbergers - I hope you enjoy your pillowcases. :) We've got a lot of fun stuff planned this weekend, so I'm looking forward to it...and the distraction.
Oh, I suppose you want an IVF update, too. Not a lot new. I'm still uncomfortable, although it seems to be much worse at night. I actually got up around 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. It's much better during the day. Last night I added an additional injection called ganirelex. It's the drug that prevents premature ovulation to ensure all my follicles can continue to grow. It is my favorite injection to this point as it comes in a pre-filled syringe and involves almost no work on my part. Tomorrow morning I go for another follicle check and blood draw to see where my hormones are at. Fingers crossed all goes well!
The upside of all this nervous energy is that I've been fairly productive at work and home. Mostly the latter, though. I've cleaned closets and drawers, re-arranged shelves, hung artwork, taken FIVE boxes of books to the Goodwill, hung curtains, and just generally puttered and fussed around the house. In fairness, part of this is because of a couple of events I'm hosting at the house, but it has certainly helped keep my mind occupied.
In fact, as I type this, I'm taking a break from cleaning the linen closet. And...I just ironed pillowcases, which I almost never do. But Nick's family is coming to visit this weekend and I was getting one of the spare beds ready, I noticed the pillowcase was pretty wrinkly, so I started to iron it. Fast forward 45 minutes later and I had ironed ALL the pillowcases in the house. Haberbergers - I hope you enjoy your pillowcases. :) We've got a lot of fun stuff planned this weekend, so I'm looking forward to it...and the distraction.
Oh, I suppose you want an IVF update, too. Not a lot new. I'm still uncomfortable, although it seems to be much worse at night. I actually got up around 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. It's much better during the day. Last night I added an additional injection called ganirelex. It's the drug that prevents premature ovulation to ensure all my follicles can continue to grow. It is my favorite injection to this point as it comes in a pre-filled syringe and involves almost no work on my part. Tomorrow morning I go for another follicle check and blood draw to see where my hormones are at. Fingers crossed all goes well!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Postscript
So, the nurse just called and said my Estradiol (estrogen) looked a little lower than they like. Each follicle creates a certain amount of estrogen, so if that number is low than it can mean my follicles aren't developing like they should. They are going to increase my stims slightly to see if that helps. So, now basically I've gone from worrying about over-stimulating to under-stimulating. I can't win! (when I just typed 'win', I accidentally typed an 'e' at the end...to which I thought...yes, please.) In other sad first world problem news, I think I'm too uncomfortable for the massage I had scheduled tonight. I know, wah wah wah.
Follicle Check #1
I had my first follicle check this morning. I was a little nervous because yesterday I started feeling bloated and uncomfortable already...which seemed a lot earlier than I have in past cycles. However, everything looks good - about a dozen follicles on each ovary, but the good news is that they are all about the same size. Previously, I've had a couple of follicles get a little diva on me and grow far quicker than the others. We want them to all grow steadily, so that's great news.
The doctor didn't really have an answer for why I am already feeling uncomfortable other than to say he thinks I've just been lucky in the past that it took awhile for me to get to this point. Great. However, the best news is that the nurse got my vial of blood on the first try. Hooray!
The doctor didn't really have an answer for why I am already feeling uncomfortable other than to say he thinks I've just been lucky in the past that it took awhile for me to get to this point. Great. However, the best news is that the nurse got my vial of blood on the first try. Hooray!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Revenge of the Pincushion
I've been a little....grumpy this week. A couple of factors are to blame - lack of sleep (allergies - argh!), lots going on at work, and vacation hangover. It's important to note that I am not one prone to hysterics, public fits of crying, or snapping at medical professionals. I consider myself a fairly well-adjusted person who, having worked in various fields of customer service, goes out of my way to be polite to anyone in that field. All this by way of saying - I think I may have scared my nurses at the clinic this week.
I think I've explain my blood draw woes here before. But for those of you who don't remember...I have the saddest little veins you ever did see. Because I'm sadistic, I counted up how many times I've had my blood drawn in a year - 26. Twenty-six! I would say once out of every four times, they are able to get a vial on the first try and without blowing a vein. Frankly, I'm surprised no one I work with thinks I have a drug problem based on the near constant bruising on my arms and hands.
I am 99% certain that the nurses at the clinic draw straws to see who gets to deal with me. Below is a re-cap of my most recent experience.
Nurse: Okay, Sarah - did you drink a lot of water before you came in? Remember, that helps!
Me: Yep! (Gold star for me! Also, I am going to float away in my attempt to get an A in water-drinking)
Nurse: Let me take a look at your veins.
Me: The right elbow is useless; there's one you can get on the left side but it's sort of hidden.
Nurse: :::Pokes my left arm repeatedly::: Hmmm....it's really hiding, isn't it?
Me: :::Nervous laughter:::
Nurse: Okay, I think I found it. I think.
Me: :::Panic rising::: You know what? Why don't we just take it from my hand? Really, it's okay.
Nurse: No, I think I've got it.
Me: (thinking to self - don't be a hero, nurse! Take it out of my hand!) Okay! (trying to be cheerful and optimistic) You can do this! (I've taken to giving my nurses pep talks)
Nurse: Alright, here we go... (dig, dig, dig)...I think I see it...(dig, dig, dig)
Me: :::Trying not to faint:::
Nurse: Oh, dear. That didn't work.
Me: ::::tries not to scream I told you so!::: Well, guess we should go with the hand. Here's the vein on the hand that works the best.
Nurse: Nope, I don't like the looks of that one. I am going to try and get this one to work. :::Points to sad looking vein:::
Me: Um, are you sure?
Nurse: Of course! I've been doing this for years. Trust me.
Me: Um, okay.
Nurse: Here we go again! Okay, I'm in. See - I told you!
Me: Yay?
Nurse: Oh, dear.
Me: What?
Nurse: Your veins aren't cooperating; the vial isn't getting filled all the way.
Me: :::screaming in head:::
Nurse: I'm going to call in Other Nurse and see what she thinks. Maybe this is enough for the test. (Ed.note - almost all of my blood draws involve calling in Other Nurse for back-up and consultation. It typically ends with both of them clucking in dismay over the sad state of my veins, which I KNOW.)
Me: Why don't we go ahead and try the other hand? I've got a really great vein on that one. :::Points to awesome vein and wiggle my hand in an attempt to attract their attention:::
Other Nurse: This is not enough blood.
Nurse: Well, let's check. ::::clearly has given up and wants to be done with me:::: (to me) You can wait, right?
Me: Um, okay.
Other Nurse: Hey, are you the person that Other Other Nurse did a blood draw on and she blew your vein really bad?
Me: That would be me. (infamy!)
Other Nurse: Wow - she was so scared after that, she couldn't draw blood for a week!
Me: I am not sure what I am supposed to say to that.
15 minutes later
Nurse: This is not enough blood.
Me: :::on verge of breakdown, but trying not to lose it::: Okay, let's do this!
Nurse: Other Nurse, why don't you try this time? (Nurse has clearly lost her blood draw mojo)
Other Nurse: Okay, I choose this sad looking vein on your other hand.
Me: Not this really good vein that works every time?
Other Nurse: No, I like this one.
Me: ::::screams in head::::
Other Nurse: Okay, here we go. Oops, I blew that vein.
I'll end the dialogue here because at that point, I had been there for 45 minutes, was late for work, and just started crying. Which I never do in public, which is fairly indicative of just how frustrated I was. And while I am poking (ha!) fun at the nurses here, I really do love all of them and they've been very good to me...I think they're all scared of my veins and I'm scared of the draw and none of that makes anything go any smoother.
On this particular day, the draw culminated in my tearful claim to the nurses that "I...(sniff, sniff) told you (sniff, sniff) so....." I think they took pity on me and decided that there was enough drawn to get the tests done. Which there must have been because later they called and said my levels (estradiol aka estrogen and FSH) were fine.
In other news,
I think I've explain my blood draw woes here before. But for those of you who don't remember...I have the saddest little veins you ever did see. Because I'm sadistic, I counted up how many times I've had my blood drawn in a year - 26. Twenty-six! I would say once out of every four times, they are able to get a vial on the first try and without blowing a vein. Frankly, I'm surprised no one I work with thinks I have a drug problem based on the near constant bruising on my arms and hands.
I am 99% certain that the nurses at the clinic draw straws to see who gets to deal with me. Below is a re-cap of my most recent experience.
Nurse: Okay, Sarah - did you drink a lot of water before you came in? Remember, that helps!
Me: Yep! (Gold star for me! Also, I am going to float away in my attempt to get an A in water-drinking)
Nurse: Let me take a look at your veins.
Me: The right elbow is useless; there's one you can get on the left side but it's sort of hidden.
Nurse: :::Pokes my left arm repeatedly::: Hmmm....it's really hiding, isn't it?
Me: :::Nervous laughter:::
Nurse: Okay, I think I found it. I think.
Me: :::Panic rising::: You know what? Why don't we just take it from my hand? Really, it's okay.
Nurse: No, I think I've got it.
Me: (thinking to self - don't be a hero, nurse! Take it out of my hand!) Okay! (trying to be cheerful and optimistic) You can do this! (I've taken to giving my nurses pep talks)
Nurse: Alright, here we go... (dig, dig, dig)...I think I see it...(dig, dig, dig)
Me: :::Trying not to faint:::
Nurse: Oh, dear. That didn't work.
Me: ::::tries not to scream I told you so!::: Well, guess we should go with the hand. Here's the vein on the hand that works the best.
Nurse: Nope, I don't like the looks of that one. I am going to try and get this one to work. :::Points to sad looking vein:::
Me: Um, are you sure?
Nurse: Of course! I've been doing this for years. Trust me.
Me: Um, okay.
Nurse: Here we go again! Okay, I'm in. See - I told you!
Me: Yay?
Nurse: Oh, dear.
Me: What?
Nurse: Your veins aren't cooperating; the vial isn't getting filled all the way.
Me: :::screaming in head:::
Nurse: I'm going to call in Other Nurse and see what she thinks. Maybe this is enough for the test. (Ed.note - almost all of my blood draws involve calling in Other Nurse for back-up and consultation. It typically ends with both of them clucking in dismay over the sad state of my veins, which I KNOW.)
Me: Why don't we go ahead and try the other hand? I've got a really great vein on that one. :::Points to awesome vein and wiggle my hand in an attempt to attract their attention:::
Other Nurse: This is not enough blood.
Nurse: Well, let's check. ::::clearly has given up and wants to be done with me:::: (to me) You can wait, right?
Me: Um, okay.
Other Nurse: Hey, are you the person that Other Other Nurse did a blood draw on and she blew your vein really bad?
Me: That would be me. (infamy!)
Other Nurse: Wow - she was so scared after that, she couldn't draw blood for a week!
Me: I am not sure what I am supposed to say to that.
15 minutes later
Nurse: This is not enough blood.
Me: :::on verge of breakdown, but trying not to lose it::: Okay, let's do this!
Nurse: Other Nurse, why don't you try this time? (Nurse has clearly lost her blood draw mojo)
Other Nurse: Okay, I choose this sad looking vein on your other hand.
Me: Not this really good vein that works every time?
Other Nurse: No, I like this one.
Me: ::::screams in head::::
Other Nurse: Okay, here we go. Oops, I blew that vein.
I'll end the dialogue here because at that point, I had been there for 45 minutes, was late for work, and just started crying. Which I never do in public, which is fairly indicative of just how frustrated I was. And while I am poking (ha!) fun at the nurses here, I really do love all of them and they've been very good to me...I think they're all scared of my veins and I'm scared of the draw and none of that makes anything go any smoother.
On this particular day, the draw culminated in my tearful claim to the nurses that "I...(sniff, sniff) told you (sniff, sniff) so....." I think they took pity on me and decided that there was enough drawn to get the tests done. Which there must have been because later they called and said my levels (estradiol aka estrogen and FSH) were fine.
In other news,
- (Okay, I promise this is the last needle reference!) Stims started yesterday. It's interesting to see how laissez-faire I've become to the injections. When I first started doing them, we had calendars and reminders and alarms and this time, it was like 'oh, hey - I've got to go stick myself. Be right back'. Except I'm on a new follicle stimulating drug called Bravelle. It's far more complicated to prepare (lots of vials and powders and such). I ended up calling Uncle and had Nick come help me. He's good at this type of stuff. At any rate, follicles are officially being stimulated! Huzzah!
- Last night, we went and saw Hunger Games. (Finally! I was so sad to miss out on going to the midnight release with a group of girlfriends last week) It's so rare that I like a movie as much as the books but in this case, I do. Nick made me dig up the second and third books in the series when I got home so he could find out what happens next. :)
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