Despite the fact that I'm writing this at a quarter to 5 in the morning, which might lead you to believe that I did not sleep well, I actually got a great night's rest and feel...well as good as one can after getting the news that we did. I'm writing to thank you all for your emails, phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages, etc...it really does mean a lot to...both of us (I shared almost everything with Nick.) We are sad, but ever hopeful. The worst part for me was telling Nick. He had it in his head that if I called him at work, it meant that we were pregnant, so he was excited when I called. To his credit (but not my surprise), by the time he got home from work, he had come up with a Top 7 Reasons Why We Shouldn't Give Up Hope list. (maybe if you're lucky, I'll post it.)
The tear stains had barely dried from our faces before we were already moving in to the 'okay, what's next' phase. And 'what's next' is a visit to Dr. Silber to ascertain what our options are. You see, we were an 'easy' case for Dr. Silber...healthy and young. Unfortunately, a lot of people that go through IVF don't get lucky on the first try. And we were one of the extra un-lucky ones that also didn't end up with any embryos to freeze.
We think we understand (from a conversation with Dr. Silber before we left) why this cycle didn't work. Unfortunately, my 'rockstar ovaries' actually worked against us. They responded too well and too quickly to the stimulation injections. Let me put it into terms I can understand...chocolate. My ovaries produced....M&M's. Are they tasty? Yes. Are they the highest quality chocolate out there? No. What we NEED to produce are Christopher Elbow (or Godiva, for you non KC folks) truffles. Quality, not quantity.
Before we left St. Louis, Dr. Silber asked us to consider a mini-IVF cycle if our first cycle didn't work. A mini-IVF cycle is one in which the focus is on producing a smaller number of very high quality eggs. It is less invasive, requires less injections and costs less. Our only concern at this point is how long it would require me to be in St. Louis as I don't feel comfortable taking off from work for an extended length of time again. Hopefully we'll know more soon.
It occurred to me yesterday that having children is a conversation Nick and I have been having for almost ten years (since we first started dating in December of 2001). We've been dealing with fertility issues since we got married in September of 2007. And we've been trying off and on for the last several years. Skeptics might say that we have nothing to show for it, but even when we are as down as we were last night, we are always able to count our blessings and move on, which I think says a lot about us as a couple.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. A lot of people have asked whether or not we're going to keep up the blog and I think we're going to. When I use my Mom Guilt someday, I want some hard evidence to back it up.
Much love to you all...
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I wish...
I had better news for you today, but unfortunately we learned from a blood test that I am not pregnant. We are devastated but still hopeful. You all have been so wonderful to us and I can never repay for you all your kindness. Please know how much it has meant to us and continue to keep us in your prayers. It seems sort of unfair that people with so much love to give haven't been given the opportunity yet, but hope perseveres. Much love to you all....Sarah and Nick
Monday, July 25, 2011
IVF for Dummies
No, this is not a post explaining IVF to 'dummies'. It's a post dedicated to all of the dumb things Nick and I are doing while we are waiting to find out if we're pregnant (well, I say we...but I mostly mean me).
A sample:
A sample:
- I yelled at Nick yesterday for squeezing me too hard while giving me a hug because he 'might smash the babies!'
- Even though I am allowed to go swimming and take baths now, I'm not going to because of an irrational fear of drowning the embryos. (I am still showering, lest you be concerned about my hygiene).
- I was going to wear a dress today that was form fitting enough that it necessitated the wearing of Spanx (cue the angels singing...love me some Spanx!) but decided not to because I thought the compressive nature of the undergarment might over-squeeze the (potential) baby(ies).
- Yelled at my cat for jumping on my stomach, 'kneading' my stomach and just generally even looking at my stomach for fear of crushing the embryos.
- Am only reading 'happy' books because I don't want to scare/stress/frighten the embryos
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Shake what your momma gave you...
Somebody reminded me recently that I had promised to talk about my infamous morning smoothies. And since Nick and I have nothing to do but wait...and apparently there's an audience of at least one person just dying to know more about what I eat for breakfast (which, by the way, you people must be hard up for entertainment). And who am I to deny you that pleasure? Someone who couldn't go back to sleep after her 5:45 am progesterone shot in the butt.
About two years or so ago, I was trying to figure out a way to get more fruits and veggie servings in my diet. I read about Green Monsters here and decided to give them a try. The first recipe I tried was very simple...
Basic Green Monster
1 banana (my recommendation is to let the bananas get pretty brown, cut them in half and then freeze them...I typically stick them in a microwave for a few seconds to defrost before dumping them in the blender)
2 cups of spinach (organic, preferably...spinach is on the Dirty Dozen List)
1 cup of milk (cow's, almond, soy, coconut, goat's, whatever)
A few ice cubes
1 tablespoon of flax seed (flax seed is great for digestion and Omega 3s)
Blend and behold the green-ness!
It was indeed...green. But it tasted surprisingly good and I got three servings of fruits and vegetables in right of the bat in the morning. Over time, I started playing around with the recipe and got to my current normal shake.
Sarah's Slightly Scary Looking But Incredibly Good For You Breakfast Shake
4-6 oz water
4-6 oz plain lowfat kefir (kefir is kind of a fizzy yogurt milk...I know that sounds awful, but it's got a lot of probiotics in it. It also comes in a range of flavors which can be a good place to start)
1 banana (they don't need to be organic...bananas are pretty low on the 'dirty' list)
1-2 cups organic kale
1-2 cups organic spinach
2 cups of organic berries (I typically by the frozen ones and skip using ice cubes)
Then, I dump in a packet of add-ins that I make once a month in batches, assembly-line style (I have to thank my mother in law, Rose, for this brilliant idea).
Vanilla Whey Protein Powder
1-2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds (if you're not using chia seeds, start. They provide energy, aid digestion and again, have a lot of Omega 3s, 6s, and 9s. They also make your skin look great)
1/2 cup of dried oatmeal
1-2 packets of stevia (Stevia is an all natural sweetener that doesn't affect your blood sugar. In fact, I think it's the only sweetener that doesn't affect your blood sugar)
Those are the standards. I never really make a batch of packets the same way...other things I've included are:
Amazing Grass
Bran
Miralax
Hemp seeds
Throw everything in the blender and blend for 30-45 seconds. Et voila! (I tried to find a little cocktail umbrella or even a strawberry to make this look slightly more tempting, but sadly we were missing both.)
I've grown to enjoy the taste of these every morning and it feels great to get that many servings of fruits and vegetables in to start the day. I have to admit, the picture above belies how much this recipe actually makes. I'd say it's about 28-32 ounces, which I basically nurse all morning, but I'm rarely hungry before lunch anymore (whereas before I would sometimes start to eat my lunch at TEN AM because I was starving). But, as you can see from the picture, it ain't pretty. It gets even less pretty as the morning progresses and the raspberry coloring loses out to the spinach and kale.
But, on a good day...I'm getting seven servings of fruits and vegetables! Before I started doing this, I'd be lucky to get that in during an entire day without feeling like a rabbit. I wasn't able to eat these for about a week between the egg retrieval and starting back to work...my stomach was pretty upset. But I've been drinking them for a few days again and I've lost 5 lbs of all the water weight I gained during IVF and that is with a trip to Stroud's. (Sidenote: I had a trip to Stroud's for fried chicken and all the fixins planned on Friday for lunch with two beloved co-workers. The timing wasn't great given my recent massively inflated belly, but really, I have Stroud's about once every 3-5 years, so I decided to go for it. Nick and I went to see Horrible Bosses that evening and during the movie, he leaned down to kiss my forehead, gave me a strange look and then moved away. Later, I asked him what that was all about and he said my hair smelled like chicken. These are the things you have to suffer through for fried chicken.)
So, there you have it...my manifesto on breakfast shakes. I understand if you don't share my passion for smoothies...I mean, we probably won't be able to be friends anymore, but I understand. Actually, I'm lucky to have two people in my life that love talking about smoothies as much as I do, if not more - my best friend Jenni and my mother in law. And my shakes look tame in comparison to theirs. I envy how horrible theirs look. Someday, (shakes fist), someday!
About two years or so ago, I was trying to figure out a way to get more fruits and veggie servings in my diet. I read about Green Monsters here and decided to give them a try. The first recipe I tried was very simple...
Basic Green Monster
1 banana (my recommendation is to let the bananas get pretty brown, cut them in half and then freeze them...I typically stick them in a microwave for a few seconds to defrost before dumping them in the blender)
2 cups of spinach (organic, preferably...spinach is on the Dirty Dozen List)
1 cup of milk (cow's, almond, soy, coconut, goat's, whatever)
A few ice cubes
1 tablespoon of flax seed (flax seed is great for digestion and Omega 3s)
Blend and behold the green-ness!
It was indeed...green. But it tasted surprisingly good and I got three servings of fruits and vegetables in right of the bat in the morning. Over time, I started playing around with the recipe and got to my current normal shake.
Sarah's Slightly Scary Looking But Incredibly Good For You Breakfast Shake
4-6 oz water
4-6 oz plain lowfat kefir (kefir is kind of a fizzy yogurt milk...I know that sounds awful, but it's got a lot of probiotics in it. It also comes in a range of flavors which can be a good place to start)
1 banana (they don't need to be organic...bananas are pretty low on the 'dirty' list)
1-2 cups organic kale
1-2 cups organic spinach
2 cups of organic berries (I typically by the frozen ones and skip using ice cubes)
Then, I dump in a packet of add-ins that I make once a month in batches, assembly-line style (I have to thank my mother in law, Rose, for this brilliant idea).
Vanilla Whey Protein Powder
1-2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds (if you're not using chia seeds, start. They provide energy, aid digestion and again, have a lot of Omega 3s, 6s, and 9s. They also make your skin look great)
1/2 cup of dried oatmeal
1-2 packets of stevia (Stevia is an all natural sweetener that doesn't affect your blood sugar. In fact, I think it's the only sweetener that doesn't affect your blood sugar)
Those are the standards. I never really make a batch of packets the same way...other things I've included are:
Amazing Grass
Bran
Miralax
Hemp seeds
Throw everything in the blender and blend for 30-45 seconds. Et voila! (I tried to find a little cocktail umbrella or even a strawberry to make this look slightly more tempting, but sadly we were missing both.)
I've grown to enjoy the taste of these every morning and it feels great to get that many servings of fruits and vegetables in to start the day. I have to admit, the picture above belies how much this recipe actually makes. I'd say it's about 28-32 ounces, which I basically nurse all morning, but I'm rarely hungry before lunch anymore (whereas before I would sometimes start to eat my lunch at TEN AM because I was starving). But, as you can see from the picture, it ain't pretty. It gets even less pretty as the morning progresses and the raspberry coloring loses out to the spinach and kale.
But, on a good day...I'm getting seven servings of fruits and vegetables! Before I started doing this, I'd be lucky to get that in during an entire day without feeling like a rabbit. I wasn't able to eat these for about a week between the egg retrieval and starting back to work...my stomach was pretty upset. But I've been drinking them for a few days again and I've lost 5 lbs of all the water weight I gained during IVF and that is with a trip to Stroud's. (Sidenote: I had a trip to Stroud's for fried chicken and all the fixins planned on Friday for lunch with two beloved co-workers. The timing wasn't great given my recent massively inflated belly, but really, I have Stroud's about once every 3-5 years, so I decided to go for it. Nick and I went to see Horrible Bosses that evening and during the movie, he leaned down to kiss my forehead, gave me a strange look and then moved away. Later, I asked him what that was all about and he said my hair smelled like chicken. These are the things you have to suffer through for fried chicken.)
So, there you have it...my manifesto on breakfast shakes. I understand if you don't share my passion for smoothies...I mean, we probably won't be able to be friends anymore, but I understand. Actually, I'm lucky to have two people in my life that love talking about smoothies as much as I do, if not more - my best friend Jenni and my mother in law. And my shakes look tame in comparison to theirs. I envy how horrible theirs look. Someday, (shakes fist), someday!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
In the immortal words of Marvin Gaye...what's going on
Did I tell you that we're back in Kansas City now? Well, we are. And back to work. Sigh...
Luckily, the last couple of days in St. Louis were fun, despite the fact that I was told to take it easy (translation...sit around and watch a Real Housewives of New York marathon). Nick's Aunt Pat came by and saw us on Sunday and took us out to dinner AND brought me a present (she knows me so well)...these gorgeous earrings. Love!
And then on Monday, I got to see my old college roommate Brandy (who coincidentally shares the same dating anniversary with her husband as Nick and I do) who was kind enough to bring us Imo's (of which, Nick ate approximately 95%), a basket of fun stuff and these beautiful flowers. I'm a lucky girl to have so many wonderful people in my life! And they all know I love presents!
Nick's parents got back in town late Monday night (so they missed MOST of my IVF related grumpiness and general malaise) (but not my crazy bloated belly!) so we were able to grab breakfast with them before getting on the road.
Now that you're all caught up on what's been going on, I thought I'd answer what seems to be a hot topic today...when we're going to find out if this IVF cycle worked. Only there's not a very good answer. Over the next few weeks, I'll have a series of blood tests drawn that will test for pregnancy. However, we won't really know until the ultrasound at 5-6 weeks. So, that's a long way of saying...sit tight, folks. It's gonna be awhile.
Luckily, the last couple of days in St. Louis were fun, despite the fact that I was told to take it easy (translation...sit around and watch a Real Housewives of New York marathon). Nick's Aunt Pat came by and saw us on Sunday and took us out to dinner AND brought me a present (she knows me so well)...these gorgeous earrings. Love!
And then on Monday, I got to see my old college roommate Brandy (who coincidentally shares the same dating anniversary with her husband as Nick and I do) who was kind enough to bring us Imo's (of which, Nick ate approximately 95%), a basket of fun stuff and these beautiful flowers. I'm a lucky girl to have so many wonderful people in my life! And they all know I love presents!
Nick's parents got back in town late Monday night (so they missed MOST of my IVF related grumpiness and general malaise) (but not my crazy bloated belly!) so we were able to grab breakfast with them before getting on the road.
Now that you're all caught up on what's been going on, I thought I'd answer what seems to be a hot topic today...when we're going to find out if this IVF cycle worked. Only there's not a very good answer. Over the next few weeks, I'll have a series of blood tests drawn that will test for pregnancy. However, we won't really know until the ultrasound at 5-6 weeks. So, that's a long way of saying...sit tight, folks. It's gonna be awhile.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
ATerribly True Truthful Tale About IVF
Phew...okay, I needed a bit to get myself together. Nick and I have talked and while we remain cautiously optimistic that we are pregnant...if we have to do another cycle, we will do it. High fives all around, go team and all of that. Nick also sent me the nicest, sweetest pep talk note ever...do you want to read it? Too bad. Geez, guys - you're already up in my ovaries' business and now you want to read correspondence between my husband and I. Have you no shame? I kid, I kid.
Originally, the purpose of this blog was to just keep you all up to date on what's going on, but for me...it's now become a diary documenting this process that I hope to one day be able to share with our child(ren). In particular, I would like to someday be able to call upon that special gift that all mothers have...Mom Guilt. I feel like going through IVF should give me enough Mom Guilt to get the kid to at least college, if not more. I plan on playing the Mom Guilt card with wild abandon. Don't judge me. And in that spirit...I present to you... A Terribly True Truthful Tale About IVF.
Warning: the next paragraphs are about BODILY FUNCTIONS. If you are not comfortable with BODILY FUNCTIONS (and if you are not, I ask...why are you here? and how are we friends?), you best abort now.
Early on in the IVF process, I remember a nurse telling us that during the embryo transfer, I would need to have a full bladder. It was one of those things I filed under Not Very Important Right Now As I'm Signing Big Checks and Sticking Myself Repeatedly with Large Needles. Most of you know, I have what could be generously be referred to as a squirrel-sized bladder. And with all the water and coconut water (it's like a natural version of gatorade) I've been drinking, I practically wore a path in my in-laws hardwood floors to the bathroom.
I was not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before the transfer. I (stupidly) assumed that this would make the whole having a full bladder thing easier. It did not. I was allowed to use the restroom at home, but once we got to the hospital...it was no go...literally. We arrived at the appointed time of 8:00am for an alleged 10:15 am transfer. By 8:15, Nick was scrubbed up, I was rocking a hospital gown (and booties! the best thing about the procedure, other than, you know...possibly getting pregnant, was these delightful fuzzy booties with grippies on the bottom) and we had nothing to do to wait and...not go to the bathroom.
Nick entertained me with impersonations for the first hour but after that, I wasn't so much in the mood for talking, as The Pressure To Go Was Setting In. I tried reclining in my chair but that didn't help, sitting cross-legged - also didn't work. The minutes ticked away slower and slower but eventually it was 10:10 and I knew the end was in sight. Except then it was 10:20...and then 10:30....and then 10:40...and then 10:50. At this point, Nick is threatening to go pick a fight with the nurses (remember...Papa Bear!) and I'm telling him "oh, no...I'll be fine. I can keep waiting." as I tense my entire body in order to not pee on the chair. Eventually, Nick went to the nurses station to see what was going on.
He returned with a shame-faced nurse who clucked at me sympathetically and told me she was so sorry, but it was going to be 20 minutes more. I nearly fainted, but I realized I had made it this far, so I could make it 20 minutes more. Then, the icing on the cake...she asked me if I wanted to use the restroom and 'just go a little bit'. Really? People do that? That's a thing? Just 'going a little bit'? I'm not familiar with this urination technique. I suppose I'm an all or nothing gal.
Word must have gotten out amongst the nurses about my amazing pee holding in ability because after not having seen a soul for two hours, there was a constant stream of nurses peeking in our door, patting my knee and telling me they knew just how I felt. I don't think you do, ladies, I don't think you do. My resolve to be strong wavered somewhere around 11:05am and when another nurse came into pat my head and look sympathetic, I lost it when she left the room. The following is the dialogue that took place between Nick and I shortly thereafter.
Me: All of these stupid nurses are being so stupid nice!
Nick: Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying.
Me: I hate them! With their niceness! (bursts into tears)
Nick: Would you prefer them to be mean?
Me: NO! I want them to be cold, emotionless robots with no feelings. Like Rosie on The Jetsons. (sobs) Niceness...is so...so...STUPID.
Nick: I'm just going to go see how much closer we are.
Finally, at approximately 11:20, we got into the procedure room and by 11:30, I was allowed to relieve myself. Do you know what happens when you hold it for that long though? It gets shy and doesn't want to come out. I'm sorry...I know you're all very delicate and I hate that I have to be so brutally honest with you, but it's true.
Fortunately, it didn't take long and then we All Lived Happily Ever After, Amen.
Originally, the purpose of this blog was to just keep you all up to date on what's going on, but for me...it's now become a diary documenting this process that I hope to one day be able to share with our child(ren). In particular, I would like to someday be able to call upon that special gift that all mothers have...Mom Guilt. I feel like going through IVF should give me enough Mom Guilt to get the kid to at least college, if not more. I plan on playing the Mom Guilt card with wild abandon. Don't judge me. And in that spirit...I present to you... A Terribly True Truthful Tale About IVF.
Warning: the next paragraphs are about BODILY FUNCTIONS. If you are not comfortable with BODILY FUNCTIONS (and if you are not, I ask...why are you here? and how are we friends?), you best abort now.
Early on in the IVF process, I remember a nurse telling us that during the embryo transfer, I would need to have a full bladder. It was one of those things I filed under Not Very Important Right Now As I'm Signing Big Checks and Sticking Myself Repeatedly with Large Needles. Most of you know, I have what could be generously be referred to as a squirrel-sized bladder. And with all the water and coconut water (it's like a natural version of gatorade) I've been drinking, I practically wore a path in my in-laws hardwood floors to the bathroom.
I was not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before the transfer. I (stupidly) assumed that this would make the whole having a full bladder thing easier. It did not. I was allowed to use the restroom at home, but once we got to the hospital...it was no go...literally. We arrived at the appointed time of 8:00am for an alleged 10:15 am transfer. By 8:15, Nick was scrubbed up, I was rocking a hospital gown (and booties! the best thing about the procedure, other than, you know...possibly getting pregnant, was these delightful fuzzy booties with grippies on the bottom) and we had nothing to do to wait and...not go to the bathroom.
Nick entertained me with impersonations for the first hour but after that, I wasn't so much in the mood for talking, as The Pressure To Go Was Setting In. I tried reclining in my chair but that didn't help, sitting cross-legged - also didn't work. The minutes ticked away slower and slower but eventually it was 10:10 and I knew the end was in sight. Except then it was 10:20...and then 10:30....and then 10:40...and then 10:50. At this point, Nick is threatening to go pick a fight with the nurses (remember...Papa Bear!) and I'm telling him "oh, no...I'll be fine. I can keep waiting." as I tense my entire body in order to not pee on the chair. Eventually, Nick went to the nurses station to see what was going on.
He returned with a shame-faced nurse who clucked at me sympathetically and told me she was so sorry, but it was going to be 20 minutes more. I nearly fainted, but I realized I had made it this far, so I could make it 20 minutes more. Then, the icing on the cake...she asked me if I wanted to use the restroom and 'just go a little bit'. Really? People do that? That's a thing? Just 'going a little bit'? I'm not familiar with this urination technique. I suppose I'm an all or nothing gal.
Word must have gotten out amongst the nurses about my amazing pee holding in ability because after not having seen a soul for two hours, there was a constant stream of nurses peeking in our door, patting my knee and telling me they knew just how I felt. I don't think you do, ladies, I don't think you do. My resolve to be strong wavered somewhere around 11:05am and when another nurse came into pat my head and look sympathetic, I lost it when she left the room. The following is the dialogue that took place between Nick and I shortly thereafter.
Me: All of these stupid nurses are being so stupid nice!
Nick: Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying.
Me: I hate them! With their niceness! (bursts into tears)
Nick: Would you prefer them to be mean?
Me: NO! I want them to be cold, emotionless robots with no feelings. Like Rosie on The Jetsons. (sobs) Niceness...is so...so...STUPID.
Nick: I'm just going to go see how much closer we are.
Finally, at approximately 11:20, we got into the procedure room and by 11:30, I was allowed to relieve myself. Do you know what happens when you hold it for that long though? It gets shy and doesn't want to come out. I'm sorry...I know you're all very delicate and I hate that I have to be so brutally honest with you, but it's true.
Fortunately, it didn't take long and then we All Lived Happily Ever After, Amen.
I couldn't think of an appropriate title for this post. The only one that seems right is "Wah...wah...wahhhhhh...." So, we got the news that we were pretty much expecting but stung nonetheless. None of the other embryos made it to freeze. I somewhat suspect they only told us on Sunday that some might still make it is so that we wouldn't completely lose it during the transfer. At any rate, we will keep hoping that one of these embryos is our baby.
Monday, July 18, 2011
And now for something completely different!
We really have nothing but time on our hands right now and since you all haven't heard much from Nick, I asked him to write a review of Pappy's BBQ...which is allegedly the best BBQ in St. Louis (but if you ask me, St. Louisians must be desperate for BBQ because it's mediocre at best) I've added my own color commentary in italics. As most of you all know, Nick's three great loves in life are: me (duh!), mountain biking and BBQ. I'm not positive that I actually hold the #1 spot in his heart but I'm working on it. And now...without further adieu, I present...Nick.
My wife and I recently visited St. Louis and decided to stop by Pappy’s BBQ restaurant after hearing numerous rave reviews from friends and family here in town. Needless to say I was really looking forward to trying out this place as I love BBQ and St. Louis has needed a decent restaurant for a long time. Unfortunately, Pappy’s was unable to live up to its hype. In fact, and I hate to say it, the BBQ was terrible. Yes, I know, I can be picky of people’s BBQ after the recent success of our BBQ team, but I also know not to compare restaurant food made for the masses to that of properly prepared BBQ for competition. Even still, as good as what I heard Pappy’s was, I still expected it to compare to Jack’s Stack (I was in no way expecting it to live up to Jack Stack...hello, cheesy corn!) and Oklahoma Joe’s of Kansas City, or Corky’s and Rendezvous of Memphis. Not even remotely in the same league as these four excellent BBQ restaurants. So, what made it so bad? Please, read on. (Okay, let's!)
Upon arriving at Pappy’s you are greeted with some nice smells coming from the smoker which is located outside in front of the restaurant. Nice touch. They use a mixture of cherry and apple woods for their smoke and it shows when you arrive. Once inside you run into the massive line to get into the dining area. You actually have to wait in line first before entering the dining area and waiting in a second line to get to the counter. (Want to watch my head explode? Make me stand in an un-airconditioned hallway for 35 minutes...let me into the dining room finally...and then make me wait for another 35 minutes. Steam. Coming. Out. My. Ears.) Total time waited until ordering our food at 2:30PM was 1 hour 10 minutes. I was really expecting this food to be great considering how many people were there. The atmosphere is pretty cool with the standard red checkered table cloths over picnic tables, music, and walls adorned with BBQ pictures and awards. In fact, somewhere along the line someone involved with the restaurant won some big time awards from Memphis in May BBQfest, but I’ve come to the conclusion these trophies were either lent to the restaurant or bought off someone. No way these recipes did this well at BBQfest.
So, after the 1 hour 10 minute wait, Sarah and I ordered our food. She got the pulled pork sandwich, fried corn on the cob (how can you not order fried corn on the cob? I've never heard of such a thing and had to try it. I thought it was impossible to ruin something by frying it, but it is. Fried corn on the cob is rubbery, tasteless and you still get corn in your teeth. No bueno), and potato salad. I got a half slab of their ‘famous’ ribs, a few slices of brisket, fried corn on the cob and baked beans. All of this for a whopping $31. I thought I was going out for BBQ? So we get our food and take a seat at some bar stools. Let me tell you the main theme of all the food here: Bland City. I read all about how they were touting their great, Memphis style dry rub while I waited in line…. So where is it?
There is NO rub used at all on the pulled pork, ribs, or brisket. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I know restaurants are going to skimp from their competition team recipes to save some time and money, but comon’, you can’t just smoke the meat and call it amazing BBQ. The ribs were ok at best. The texture and done-ness were pretty much on target. The smoke ring was very deep in pinkish-red color but I expected that considering they were using cherry and apple woods. If you wanted to taste anything besides cooked pork, you better load on one of their sub-par BBQ sauces to give it any flavor. As for the pulled pork, it was their best dish. It at least had some of the sweet pork flavor to it, but again, no rubs or sauces used during the cooking process so it too was a little bit bland, but it was cooked properly at least.
The biggest let down by far and away was their disgusting brisket. I know they are touting themselves as a Memphis style BBQ, but if you are going to put brisket on the menu, you better know what you are doing. Texture and done-ness were completely wrong. Even the beef flavor didn’t taste right. At least they tried to season it somewhat by using salt and pepper as a dry rub, but that didn’t help. It was terrible. I don’t even want to talk about their sides. All of their sides were store bought and then put into little cups. Ridiculous. Again, I don’t expect this BBQ to be on the level of competition BBQ, but the other restaurants I mentioned put out a much better flavorful product and they don’t charge out the ass for their food. This place was underwhelming to say the least.
There is NO rub used at all on the pulled pork, ribs, or brisket. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I know restaurants are going to skimp from their competition team recipes to save some time and money, but comon’, you can’t just smoke the meat and call it amazing BBQ. The ribs were ok at best. The texture and done-ness were pretty much on target. The smoke ring was very deep in pinkish-red color but I expected that considering they were using cherry and apple woods. If you wanted to taste anything besides cooked pork, you better load on one of their sub-par BBQ sauces to give it any flavor. As for the pulled pork, it was their best dish. It at least had some of the sweet pork flavor to it, but again, no rubs or sauces used during the cooking process so it too was a little bit bland, but it was cooked properly at least.
The biggest let down by far and away was their disgusting brisket. I know they are touting themselves as a Memphis style BBQ, but if you are going to put brisket on the menu, you better know what you are doing. Texture and done-ness were completely wrong. Even the beef flavor didn’t taste right. At least they tried to season it somewhat by using salt and pepper as a dry rub, but that didn’t help. It was terrible. I don’t even want to talk about their sides. All of their sides were store bought and then put into little cups. Ridiculous. Again, I don’t expect this BBQ to be on the level of competition BBQ, but the other restaurants I mentioned put out a much better flavorful product and they don’t charge out the ass for their food. This place was underwhelming to say the least.
In conclusion, I feel it is necessary that I provide proper tasting BBQ to all of my friends and family from St. Louis that have been fooled by Pappy’s as to what good BBQ tastes like. I have a feeling that most people from St. Louis, including myself, were raised on tough, rubber-like ribs and Pappy’s can provide you with ribs that are properly cooked so it seems like they are putting out some great food. The only thing that Pappy’s has done right is the fact that they have marketed themselves properly and have broken into a market that has no idea what good BBQ is like so they have gotten off scott-free with doing a sub-par job and charging way too much for their food. In that regard, I’m jealous of them for thinking of opening up a BBQ joint in St. Louis first! (Yeah! What he said! Now, all of you are invited to come over for some real BBQ! :::Nick drags Sarah away from the computer:::)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
And then there were two...
Embryos, that is...our 'lucky ducks' as we've taken to calling them.
This morning, as we were driving to the hospital I said to Nick that I wished that things hadn't gone so swimmingly up to this point...that whatever 'wrench' was going to be thrown our way would have already happened so we could feel confident that there wouldn't be any surprises on this all important day. I believe in literature that's what you call foreshadowing.
So, the good news is...we had two embryos implanted and the transfer went textbook perfect. One of the embryos was practically perfect (actually growing faster than expected) and the other was very, very good. The other news...and the news we feared this whole last 4.5 months...was that, at this point, none of the other embryos are high enough quality to freeze. They'll continue to watch them and there's still a chance that they could develop to the point where they could be frozen. Rather than try to poorly explain the embryo quality/classification/freezing process, I'm just going to point you here if you're interested. We won't know until Wednesday.
I have to say...this was a blow. We knew it was a possibility but it was going to make it so much easier to stay positive if we knew we had other embryos as 'back ups'. We've thought of nothing else for 4.5 months but this moment. However, the embryos that were transferred were fantastic so we're going to concentrate all of our energy on making sure they stick! I have another acupuncture appointment this afternoon and several scheduled over the next few weeks.
In the spirit of optimism, would you like to see a photo of our lucky ducks...AKA baby's first photo? Pretty incredible!
And now, because there have been next to zero pictures of actual people on this blog as of late...Nick and I at the transfer today. Doesn't Nick look handsome in his scrubs? Hands off ladies, he's mine!
As were walking into the house, a delivery man from Edible Arrangements showed up with a package for me. I know I've mentioned my 'support group' of six other women who are at various stages in the infertility/trying to get pregnant process....these lovely ladies sent me the most wonderful box of chocolate dipped fruit. This is the kind of healthy eating I can get behind! You'll notice I already devoured one.
In summary....4.5 months...2 embryos...hopefully one positive pregnancy test soon. Again, our deepest thanks for your love, support, prayers and good thoughts. If I could share my chocolate covered fruit with each of you...well, I probably wouldn't share. But I love you all just the same. XOXO
This morning, as we were driving to the hospital I said to Nick that I wished that things hadn't gone so swimmingly up to this point...that whatever 'wrench' was going to be thrown our way would have already happened so we could feel confident that there wouldn't be any surprises on this all important day. I believe in literature that's what you call foreshadowing.
So, the good news is...we had two embryos implanted and the transfer went textbook perfect. One of the embryos was practically perfect (actually growing faster than expected) and the other was very, very good. The other news...and the news we feared this whole last 4.5 months...was that, at this point, none of the other embryos are high enough quality to freeze. They'll continue to watch them and there's still a chance that they could develop to the point where they could be frozen. Rather than try to poorly explain the embryo quality/classification/freezing process, I'm just going to point you here if you're interested. We won't know until Wednesday.
I have to say...this was a blow. We knew it was a possibility but it was going to make it so much easier to stay positive if we knew we had other embryos as 'back ups'. We've thought of nothing else for 4.5 months but this moment. However, the embryos that were transferred were fantastic so we're going to concentrate all of our energy on making sure they stick! I have another acupuncture appointment this afternoon and several scheduled over the next few weeks.
In the spirit of optimism, would you like to see a photo of our lucky ducks...AKA baby's first photo? Pretty incredible!
As were walking into the house, a delivery man from Edible Arrangements showed up with a package for me. I know I've mentioned my 'support group' of six other women who are at various stages in the infertility/trying to get pregnant process....these lovely ladies sent me the most wonderful box of chocolate dipped fruit. This is the kind of healthy eating I can get behind! You'll notice I already devoured one.
In summary....4.5 months...2 embryos...hopefully one positive pregnancy test soon. Again, our deepest thanks for your love, support, prayers and good thoughts. If I could share my chocolate covered fruit with each of you...well, I probably wouldn't share. But I love you all just the same. XOXO
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Looking the part...
Tomorrow is the big day and we couldn't be more excited...Nick and I were in the car today and I looked over at him and said "Hey...we're getting pregnant tomorrow!" as if it had just dawned on me. There's so much going on emotionally and physically in this process that I almost sorta kinda forgot the whole reason we're doing it.
So, what have we been up to? Well, although I won't technically (fingers crossed) be getting pregnant until tomorrow, I LOOK like I'm about five months along. The post egg retrieval bloat hit and boy did it hit hard. Nicole - thank you for telling me to bring lots of yoga pants with me because that is the only thing that is comfortable to wear right now. Unfortunately, my normal mostly vegetarian diet of grains, legumes and veggies/fruits is not helping matters. Today, when I went to the acupuncturist, I told her I was afraid that if she stuck a needle in my stomach it would pop like a balloon. She assured me that was not the case.
Speaking of acupuncturists, I can't believe my luck in finding my way to a great one here -Maureen Fox. She's been so supportive and helpful, particularly as in addition to being a licensed acupuncturist, she is also an RN...so she's a nice balance of Western Medicine and Eastern Medicine. In fact, when our schedule got bumped up and we learned that our transfer would be on Sunday, she got one of her colleagues to agree to come into the clinic to see me both in the morning and the afternoon of the procedure, Lori Chapman (Maureen was out of town). St. Louisians - if you're interested in trying acupuncture, I'd definitely recommend both of these women.
I saw Lori today and, along with acupuncture, she used a moxa stick, which is the burning of herbs at specific acupuncture points. More information here if you're interested. She also put her hands on my stomach and felt the energy of my womb before and after the acupuncture. I know...it sounds crazy. I get it. But, the most important thing Dr. Silber has told us throughout this process is to manage our stress levels...if nothing else, acupuncture is definitely relaxing and I feel so much better afterwards.
At any rate, she said that I had a very welcoming womb and that my energy was good...and that she could feel a good anticipation around me. I asked if she ever felt an un-welcoming womb; she laughed and said that, yes, sometimes she could tell that something wasn't right. So, there you have it...my womb is ready. Seriously, there is part of my brain that I can practically feel screaming at me for buying into all of this stuff, but right now, I'm choosing not to listen. :)
Last night, Nick and I joined our friend and former roommate Jessica to see Harry Potter in 3D and Imax. There was a huge line but luckily Jessica and two of her friends scored spots at the front, so our seats were perfect. The movie was great and was one of the few times, I've felt that 3D was worth the cost. I'm kinda sad the movies are over...Nick is not. :)
Today, we ventured to the most popular BBQ restaurant in St. Louis...Pappy's. But a special guest post by Nick is coming on that soon, so I'll just leave you in suspense. Our embryo transfer is scheduled for 10:15 am tomorrow...cross your fingers and toes!
So, what have we been up to? Well, although I won't technically (fingers crossed) be getting pregnant until tomorrow, I LOOK like I'm about five months along. The post egg retrieval bloat hit and boy did it hit hard. Nicole - thank you for telling me to bring lots of yoga pants with me because that is the only thing that is comfortable to wear right now. Unfortunately, my normal mostly vegetarian diet of grains, legumes and veggies/fruits is not helping matters. Today, when I went to the acupuncturist, I told her I was afraid that if she stuck a needle in my stomach it would pop like a balloon. She assured me that was not the case.
Speaking of acupuncturists, I can't believe my luck in finding my way to a great one here -Maureen Fox. She's been so supportive and helpful, particularly as in addition to being a licensed acupuncturist, she is also an RN...so she's a nice balance of Western Medicine and Eastern Medicine. In fact, when our schedule got bumped up and we learned that our transfer would be on Sunday, she got one of her colleagues to agree to come into the clinic to see me both in the morning and the afternoon of the procedure, Lori Chapman (Maureen was out of town). St. Louisians - if you're interested in trying acupuncture, I'd definitely recommend both of these women.
I saw Lori today and, along with acupuncture, she used a moxa stick, which is the burning of herbs at specific acupuncture points. More information here if you're interested. She also put her hands on my stomach and felt the energy of my womb before and after the acupuncture. I know...it sounds crazy. I get it. But, the most important thing Dr. Silber has told us throughout this process is to manage our stress levels...if nothing else, acupuncture is definitely relaxing and I feel so much better afterwards.
At any rate, she said that I had a very welcoming womb and that my energy was good...and that she could feel a good anticipation around me. I asked if she ever felt an un-welcoming womb; she laughed and said that, yes, sometimes she could tell that something wasn't right. So, there you have it...my womb is ready. Seriously, there is part of my brain that I can practically feel screaming at me for buying into all of this stuff, but right now, I'm choosing not to listen. :)
Last night, Nick and I joined our friend and former roommate Jessica to see Harry Potter in 3D and Imax. There was a huge line but luckily Jessica and two of her friends scored spots at the front, so our seats were perfect. The movie was great and was one of the few times, I've felt that 3D was worth the cost. I'm kinda sad the movies are over...Nick is not. :)
Today, we ventured to the most popular BBQ restaurant in St. Louis...Pappy's. But a special guest post by Nick is coming on that soon, so I'll just leave you in suspense. Our embryo transfer is scheduled for 10:15 am tomorrow...cross your fingers and toes!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Lucky ducks
I can't believe I spent so much time updating you all on, you know, the ovary and egg situation yesterday that I completely forgot the most important thing...I saw my lucky ducks again! On Wednesday, I was driving into the hospital and they were crossing the road. So, OF COURSE, I stopped traffic so I could 1) not smash them with my car and 2) take a picture. The doctor behind me in a BMW really enjoyed it, I assure you.
The other Very Important Thing I forgot to mention was the present I got in the mail on Wednesday. Remember Nate the Needle? My dear friend, Vince (the artist himself) sent me a mug with Nate plastered on it. It's a real conversation piece. I'm sitting here drinking coffee in it right now. I feel compelled to apologize for the lack of even reasonable quality pictures right now but I'm really too lazy to take pictures with anything but my camera. Clearly, you aren't reading this blog for its amazing photo quality, so I suppose you are all okay with that.
And now back to our regularly scheduled IVF updates.
IVF Update #1: Nick gave me my first intramuscular shot of progesterone this morning at 5:45 am. I had one at the hospital yesterday but I was on a Percoset high, so that hardly counts. After about 20 minutes of debating where my 'haunches' (the location the nurse said the shot should go in) were, we did it. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. Or at least...it was as easy as getting a large shot in the butt can be. We get to do this for at least three weeks and maybe more...woot!
IVF Update #2: I spoke with the clinic today and they were able to fertilize 16 of my eggs...of those 16, eight have definitely fertilized and they are watching five more that they think might still fertilize. Grow, little embies grow!
IVF Update #3: Our transfer is scheduled for 11:15 am on Sunday...so excited!
The other Very Important Thing I forgot to mention was the present I got in the mail on Wednesday. Remember Nate the Needle? My dear friend, Vince (the artist himself) sent me a mug with Nate plastered on it. It's a real conversation piece. I'm sitting here drinking coffee in it right now. I feel compelled to apologize for the lack of even reasonable quality pictures right now but I'm really too lazy to take pictures with anything but my camera. Clearly, you aren't reading this blog for its amazing photo quality, so I suppose you are all okay with that.
And now back to our regularly scheduled IVF updates.
IVF Update #1: Nick gave me my first intramuscular shot of progesterone this morning at 5:45 am. I had one at the hospital yesterday but I was on a Percoset high, so that hardly counts. After about 20 minutes of debating where my 'haunches' (the location the nurse said the shot should go in) were, we did it. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. Or at least...it was as easy as getting a large shot in the butt can be. We get to do this for at least three weeks and maybe more...woot!
IVF Update #2: I spoke with the clinic today and they were able to fertilize 16 of my eggs...of those 16, eight have definitely fertilized and they are watching five more that they think might still fertilize. Grow, little embies grow!
IVF Update #3: Our transfer is scheduled for 11:15 am on Sunday...so excited!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Question: How do you know you're in St. Louis?
Answer: When even the pre-op nurse at the hospital asks you what high school you went to.
Back at home and after a three hour nap, I'm finally feeling ready to update. Everything went really well this morning. We checked in at the appointed time of 7:30am and did a lot of waiting until my procedure at 10am. I wasn't allowed to have any food or drink after midnight last night so I was getting a bit...'hangry' this morning. Luckily, Nick forgot to eat breakfast, too so I had company.
We had the nicest nurses all morning...this is one of the reasons I like living in the Midwest...people are just genuinely nice. And of course, as is the tradition in St. Louis, they all asked Nick what high school he went to. Dr. Silber and the assisting physician Dr. Derosa came to meet with us briefly before the procedure and then they wheeled me away. I must find out how they warm their blankets because they kept me under a steady stream of toasty blankets all morning. I'm spoiled now...a regular blanket won't do.
One minute I was in the operating room and the next I was waking up being wheeled back to recovery with Nick. The surgeons came in and told us they got 20 eggs which is really super duper good. They told us to expect about six embryos and we'll get reports each day starting tomorrow on how our 'embies' are growing before the transfer on Sunday.
I was VERY unprepared for how uncomfortable I would be after the procedure. Actually, uncomfortable is a misnomer. I was in pain. It was like menstrual cramps on steroids. They said I was in more pain than some people because of the number of follicles I had. I must have looked grumpy because the nurse asked me if I wanted a percoset and I'm no fool...I said yes.
After I woke up and it was getting close to time to leave, I asked Nick if I said anything funny when I first came out of recovery. Once, when Nick was in surgery, he had me in stitches with some of the stuff he said during recovery. He said no, though....boo.
They wheeled me out in a wheelchair (the nurse wouldn't pop a wheelie, though...I asked) and then we were on our way home! Well, after a trip to Steak and Shake for a chocolate shake. I was ravenous. We both took naps this afternoon and I still feel a little groggy/uncomfortable so it's probably time for another nap. :)
I feel like I close every post this way, but let me say a sincere thank you AGAIN for all the calls, emails, texts, Facebook messages, and general good thoughts/prayers you've sent our way. Love to you all! XO
Back at home and after a three hour nap, I'm finally feeling ready to update. Everything went really well this morning. We checked in at the appointed time of 7:30am and did a lot of waiting until my procedure at 10am. I wasn't allowed to have any food or drink after midnight last night so I was getting a bit...'hangry' this morning. Luckily, Nick forgot to eat breakfast, too so I had company.
We had the nicest nurses all morning...this is one of the reasons I like living in the Midwest...people are just genuinely nice. And of course, as is the tradition in St. Louis, they all asked Nick what high school he went to. Dr. Silber and the assisting physician Dr. Derosa came to meet with us briefly before the procedure and then they wheeled me away. I must find out how they warm their blankets because they kept me under a steady stream of toasty blankets all morning. I'm spoiled now...a regular blanket won't do.
One minute I was in the operating room and the next I was waking up being wheeled back to recovery with Nick. The surgeons came in and told us they got 20 eggs which is really super duper good. They told us to expect about six embryos and we'll get reports each day starting tomorrow on how our 'embies' are growing before the transfer on Sunday.
I was VERY unprepared for how uncomfortable I would be after the procedure. Actually, uncomfortable is a misnomer. I was in pain. It was like menstrual cramps on steroids. They said I was in more pain than some people because of the number of follicles I had. I must have looked grumpy because the nurse asked me if I wanted a percoset and I'm no fool...I said yes.
After I woke up and it was getting close to time to leave, I asked Nick if I said anything funny when I first came out of recovery. Once, when Nick was in surgery, he had me in stitches with some of the stuff he said during recovery. He said no, though....boo.
They wheeled me out in a wheelchair (the nurse wouldn't pop a wheelie, though...I asked) and then we were on our way home! Well, after a trip to Steak and Shake for a chocolate shake. I was ravenous. We both took naps this afternoon and I still feel a little groggy/uncomfortable so it's probably time for another nap. :)
I feel like I close every post this way, but let me say a sincere thank you AGAIN for all the calls, emails, texts, Facebook messages, and general good thoughts/prayers you've sent our way. Love to you all! XO
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The final countdown...
Despite some massive minor anxiety about giving myself the trigger shot last night, I managed to do it. The trigger shot is a little more complicated than the others...diluent and powder that had to be mixed and switching needles. Although, once again, the Internet saved the day. I managed to find step by step instructions on You Tube which helped a ton. Glad it's over!
I feel a little more uncomfortable today...bloated and full feeling. It's still not terrible, though - mostly just annoying. Although I think I prefer feeling SOMETHING going on down there...that way I know it's working.
Yesterday flew by...I tried to catch up on some work emails and then had lunch with my friend Jessica, who just returned from a year and a half of living and working in New Zealand and is currently in the midst of a cross country road trip with a convenient (for me, anyway) stop over in St. Louis. You can tell she's 'good people' because she was amicable (good word, right, Jess?) to splitting/sharing lunch entrees with me. Fingers crossed that Nick and I get to go see Harry Potter with her on Friday night.
I also had another nice surprise in the mail from my darling husband...these beautiful, sunshine-y flowers. I realize this is a horrible picture but I did a terrible job arranging them so they really only are pretty from the top. Thanks, hon! He is coming into St. Louis tonight, although, sadly...not by train. :( The train sold out (how is that even possible?!) so he's driving. Special thanks, however, to Jenni for being willing to help get Nick to the train station. This is the benefit of having a friend who is a teacher with summers off. :)
Today, I have some last minute appointments and for the first time in several weeks...no shots! The egg retrieval is scheduled for 9:45 am tomorrow morning and then I may take it easy the rest of the day so probably no updates. Thanks to all of you for sending prayers and good thoughts our way! Hugs all around....
I feel a little more uncomfortable today...bloated and full feeling. It's still not terrible, though - mostly just annoying. Although I think I prefer feeling SOMETHING going on down there...that way I know it's working.
Yesterday flew by...I tried to catch up on some work emails and then had lunch with my friend Jessica, who just returned from a year and a half of living and working in New Zealand and is currently in the midst of a cross country road trip with a convenient (for me, anyway) stop over in St. Louis. You can tell she's 'good people' because she was amicable (good word, right, Jess?) to splitting/sharing lunch entrees with me. Fingers crossed that Nick and I get to go see Harry Potter with her on Friday night.
I also had another nice surprise in the mail from my darling husband...these beautiful, sunshine-y flowers. I realize this is a horrible picture but I did a terrible job arranging them so they really only are pretty from the top. Thanks, hon! He is coming into St. Louis tonight, although, sadly...not by train. :( The train sold out (how is that even possible?!) so he's driving. Special thanks, however, to Jenni for being willing to help get Nick to the train station. This is the benefit of having a friend who is a teacher with summers off. :)
Today, I have some last minute appointments and for the first time in several weeks...no shots! The egg retrieval is scheduled for 9:45 am tomorrow morning and then I may take it easy the rest of the day so probably no updates. Thanks to all of you for sending prayers and good thoughts our way! Hugs all around....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Pulling the trigger...
Just got off the phone with the clinic and we are definitely moving up the egg retrieval date to Thursday! Yay! I don't know why I'm so excited about this...it really doesn't matter when we do it, as long as it happens. Oh, wait....I do know why I'm so excited...because now I can go with my friend Jessica to see Harry Potter on Friday night! :) I really can't think of a better reason.
The change in schedule means that I give myself the trigger shot tonight. The trigger shot is a big dose of HCG that makes the follicles mature so that the eggs can be retrieved. (On a completely unrelated note, every time the clinic talks about the trigger shot, I think of Roy Rogers' horse, Trigger. A quick check of Wikipedia revealed that a likeness of Trigger was on display in Branson, Missouri until 2009. Fun fact for the day.)
The change in schedule means that I give myself the trigger shot tonight. The trigger shot is a big dose of HCG that makes the follicles mature so that the eggs can be retrieved. (On a completely unrelated note, every time the clinic talks about the trigger shot, I think of Roy Rogers' horse, Trigger. A quick check of Wikipedia revealed that a likeness of Trigger was on display in Branson, Missouri until 2009. Fun fact for the day.)
Insert Clever Title Here
I'm dragging a little bit this morning (hence why I can't think of a clever title), despite my 'splurge' of a skinny mocha coconut frappucino. Couldn't sleep last night...possibly because I took a two hour nap or possibly because I was so super duper excited to get a care package from my awesome co-workers.
Lots of good stuff to keep me occupied, although the KU jayhawk lip balm is questionable. I have a reasonable suspicion about who might be responsible for that, Susie. :) I love getting packages in the mail and this one did not disappoint. You guys are the greatest! Hugs to Ann, Beth, Vince, Lezlie, Susie and Liz. Also, Liz - please tell Ella that I am enjoying the Disney Princess crosswords. Much more my speed than the New York Times.
Nick's mom took me out to a wonderful lunch yesterday at Bixby's which is in the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park. St. Louis, people - get ye'selves there. So good. We shared a spinach salad and then each had the vegetable napoleon, which was big pieces of squash, pepper and eggplant roasted and then layered with manchego. I died, came back to life, and then died again. We also picked up a chicken and prosciutto sandwich for my father in law, who has been quite patient with all of the vegetarian cooking we've been doing, but I suspected that patience might be nearing the end. :) Luckily, they are headed to Venezuela tomorrow and will be eating lots of wonderfully yummy food, I imagine.
I got to spend last night with Jean, Joel and their adorable eight month old son, Andrew, who was so cute, I was half tempted to forget the IVF and just steal him. Jean and I share a love of bad reality TV, so we ate some fan-friggin-tastic pizza from Dewey's, gossiped, and watched The Bachelorette. All of the seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are horrible (and by horrible, I mean amazing to watch because you feel so much better about yourself compared to the vapid, brainless reality TV 'stars'), but this one is PARTICULARLY horrible...and also delightful.
I continue to feel really good...frankly, better than I do most of the time. The bloating hasn't been too bad and I feel like myself. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. Yesterday, I had 16 follicles on my right ovary and 13 on my left...today, I have 18 on each, so they think my egg retrieval is going to get moved up to Thursday or Friday. (Fist pump!) Nick is taking the train in tomorrow, so we're getting close. Oh, also, I made friends with the blood draw ladies. They've been admiring my Gelish manicure, so I shared with them the relative benefits of Shellac vs Gelish vs Axium. And I haven't thrown up on them once! Go, me.
Lots of good stuff to keep me occupied, although the KU jayhawk lip balm is questionable. I have a reasonable suspicion about who might be responsible for that, Susie. :) I love getting packages in the mail and this one did not disappoint. You guys are the greatest! Hugs to Ann, Beth, Vince, Lezlie, Susie and Liz. Also, Liz - please tell Ella that I am enjoying the Disney Princess crosswords. Much more my speed than the New York Times.
Nick's mom took me out to a wonderful lunch yesterday at Bixby's which is in the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park. St. Louis, people - get ye'selves there. So good. We shared a spinach salad and then each had the vegetable napoleon, which was big pieces of squash, pepper and eggplant roasted and then layered with manchego. I died, came back to life, and then died again. We also picked up a chicken and prosciutto sandwich for my father in law, who has been quite patient with all of the vegetarian cooking we've been doing, but I suspected that patience might be nearing the end. :) Luckily, they are headed to Venezuela tomorrow and will be eating lots of wonderfully yummy food, I imagine.
I got to spend last night with Jean, Joel and their adorable eight month old son, Andrew, who was so cute, I was half tempted to forget the IVF and just steal him. Jean and I share a love of bad reality TV, so we ate some fan-friggin-tastic pizza from Dewey's, gossiped, and watched The Bachelorette. All of the seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are horrible (and by horrible, I mean amazing to watch because you feel so much better about yourself compared to the vapid, brainless reality TV 'stars'), but this one is PARTICULARLY horrible...and also delightful.
I continue to feel really good...frankly, better than I do most of the time. The bloating hasn't been too bad and I feel like myself. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. Yesterday, I had 16 follicles on my right ovary and 13 on my left...today, I have 18 on each, so they think my egg retrieval is going to get moved up to Thursday or Friday. (Fist pump!) Nick is taking the train in tomorrow, so we're getting close. Oh, also, I made friends with the blood draw ladies. They've been admiring my Gelish manicure, so I shared with them the relative benefits of Shellac vs Gelish vs Axium. And I haven't thrown up on them once! Go, me.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Relaxing is exhausting...
My mom asked me this morning what I did this weekend and I didn't have a good answer. I felt really busy and took several naps but looking back, I don't think I did that much. As I told my mother in law, Rose, yesterday, all this doing nothing and relaxing is exhausting. Mostly, I've been cooking great healthy meals with Rose which has been super fun. Nothing is more relaxing to me than cooking. Nick came into town Friday night and left yesterday. Nick's dad, Bill, generously offered us amazing seats for the Cardinals game Saturday evening, but unfortunately, my injection schedule got in the way. So, Nick and Bill went along with Nick's Aunt Pat and her boyfriend, Jack. Honestly, though, it was so much more fun watching them on TV. They were right behind home plate. Luckily no one was caught picking their nose, although I did get this shot of Nick shoveling ice cream in his mouth like it's his job.
Today's monitoring appointment was super exciting...I got to see all the follicles that are developing on the ultrasound. When they came up on the screen, the tech's eyes got big and she said 'wow, you're body REALLY likes these drugs'. The follicles were clustered like grapes and we stopped counting after a dozen on each side...there were a lot more and some that are growing really well. Say it with me, people...rockstar ovaries!
My goal of 'winning' at IVF by going early may just happen. She also said she'd be really surprised if my doctor doesn't speed up the process and move my egg retrieval back a day or two. Music to my ears. I really dislike Charlie Sheen but if ever there were a occasion to quote him...today it would be. Winning!
Perhaps most exciting of all (to me) were the baby ducks I saw outside the hospital. I think it's a good sign, don't you all? :) (Although I don't really want a flock...is that what you call a group of ducks? I don't know. Just one would be fine. Baby, that is. Not ducks. I'm not sure our neighborhood is zoned for ducks.)
Today's monitoring appointment was super exciting...I got to see all the follicles that are developing on the ultrasound. When they came up on the screen, the tech's eyes got big and she said 'wow, you're body REALLY likes these drugs'. The follicles were clustered like grapes and we stopped counting after a dozen on each side...there were a lot more and some that are growing really well. Say it with me, people...rockstar ovaries!
My goal of 'winning' at IVF by going early may just happen. She also said she'd be really surprised if my doctor doesn't speed up the process and move my egg retrieval back a day or two. Music to my ears. I really dislike Charlie Sheen but if ever there were a occasion to quote him...today it would be. Winning!
Perhaps most exciting of all (to me) were the baby ducks I saw outside the hospital. I think it's a good sign, don't you all? :) (Although I don't really want a flock...is that what you call a group of ducks? I don't know. Just one would be fine. Baby, that is. Not ducks. I'm not sure our neighborhood is zoned for ducks.)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
My ovaries are rockstars...
Talked with the nurse last night after they got all of my bloodwork and ultrasound results back. There's actually four measurable follicles on each ovary, plus an additional 13 per ovary that are growing. :::pats stomach affectionately:::
The rest of my bloodwork looked good, too. I don't really understand it all, but I'm going to try and have some of my IVF buddies and the nurses explain it to me.
Yesterday, I had my first acupuncture appointment in St. Louis...it took nearly two hours. She spent the first hour going over my diet, exercise, supplements, stress management, medical history, fertility history, etc. Then she spent the second hour actually stickin' needles in me. It was by far the most needles I've ever had...I lost count at 20. I felt great afterwards, though and she even convinced me to bring Nick in next week. And more importantly, Nick didn't balk when I told him as much.
May have overdone it on the eating healthy yesterday...I did not feel well last night at all. I'm finally starting to have some bloating and discomfort, but I drank a ton of water and took it easy on my super fiber rich shake this morning, so I feel a lot better. That's probably a lot more than you want to know about my fiber intake, but I don't care. I could talk fiber for hours!
I thought I might get bored but my schedule is pretty jam packed next week between appointments, acupuncture and seeing all my STL friends...which is perfect. I do have to save time for some special projects I'm working on for my mom and mother in law. Mom - if you're reading, SEND ME THE ADDRESSES! Also, love you.
In case you're wondering, Carl is also Just Fine although I'm pretty sure he now associates me with painful peeing and my brother/mom/dad with SALVATION! Alex sent me this video to prove it. Thank God my family are all cat people (no offense to dog people...it's just that cat people are infinitely superior, you see).
The rest of my bloodwork looked good, too. I don't really understand it all, but I'm going to try and have some of my IVF buddies and the nurses explain it to me.
Yesterday, I had my first acupuncture appointment in St. Louis...it took nearly two hours. She spent the first hour going over my diet, exercise, supplements, stress management, medical history, fertility history, etc. Then she spent the second hour actually stickin' needles in me. It was by far the most needles I've ever had...I lost count at 20. I felt great afterwards, though and she even convinced me to bring Nick in next week. And more importantly, Nick didn't balk when I told him as much.
May have overdone it on the eating healthy yesterday...I did not feel well last night at all. I'm finally starting to have some bloating and discomfort, but I drank a ton of water and took it easy on my super fiber rich shake this morning, so I feel a lot better. That's probably a lot more than you want to know about my fiber intake, but I don't care. I could talk fiber for hours!
I thought I might get bored but my schedule is pretty jam packed next week between appointments, acupuncture and seeing all my STL friends...which is perfect. I do have to save time for some special projects I'm working on for my mom and mother in law. Mom - if you're reading, SEND ME THE ADDRESSES! Also, love you.
In case you're wondering, Carl is also Just Fine although I'm pretty sure he now associates me with painful peeing and my brother/mom/dad with SALVATION! Alex sent me this video to prove it. Thank God my family are all cat people (no offense to dog people...it's just that cat people are infinitely superior, you see).
Friday, July 8, 2011
Check, please!
Arrived in St. Louis safely yesterday (after driving 4.5 hours in the rain...there is nothing that makes a road trip go by slow like constant rain) and had a nice dinner with Nick's parents, Rose and Bill (along with about a three hour conversation about nutrition...Nick's probably glad I'm getting that out of my system before he gets to St. Louis).
Today, I had my first follicle check...basically to see how many follicles that could turn into eggs are in my ovaries. As you might expect, I have superstar ovaries. Or at least that's what they told me. There are three measurable follicles on each ovary already...that probably doesn't mean anything to you, but trust me, this is good. Gold star for me!
Interestingly, I could spot all of Dr. Silber's other patients. We were all wearing knit dresses (easy to get in and out of) and carrying huge binders full of paperwork (I am pretty proud of my binder and it's neatly labeled folders). We all kind of exchanged knowing glances while waiting. Or at least I think we were. It's possible they were trying to figure out why the woman in the purple dress kept nodding at them.
After the ultrasound, it was off to my nemesis...the lab. Earlier this week when I had blood drawn, they missed my vein and I ended up with a nasty looking bruise. The nurse today took one look at that arm and quietly said 'did WE do that to you'? She looked relieved when I said no and proceeded to take a vial of blood from me in a blink of an eye. Easy as pie. I'll find out the results of the bloodwork later today.
For now, I'm off to the acupuncturist. Thank you for all the good wishes, kind words, prayers and thoughts you've sent to Nick and I. They are much appreciated! XO
Today, I had my first follicle check...basically to see how many follicles that could turn into eggs are in my ovaries. As you might expect, I have superstar ovaries. Or at least that's what they told me. There are three measurable follicles on each ovary already...that probably doesn't mean anything to you, but trust me, this is good. Gold star for me!
Interestingly, I could spot all of Dr. Silber's other patients. We were all wearing knit dresses (easy to get in and out of) and carrying huge binders full of paperwork (I am pretty proud of my binder and it's neatly labeled folders). We all kind of exchanged knowing glances while waiting. Or at least I think we were. It's possible they were trying to figure out why the woman in the purple dress kept nodding at them.
After the ultrasound, it was off to my nemesis...the lab. Earlier this week when I had blood drawn, they missed my vein and I ended up with a nasty looking bruise. The nurse today took one look at that arm and quietly said 'did WE do that to you'? She looked relieved when I said no and proceeded to take a vial of blood from me in a blink of an eye. Easy as pie. I'll find out the results of the bloodwork later today.
For now, I'm off to the acupuncturist. Thank you for all the good wishes, kind words, prayers and thoughts you've sent to Nick and I. They are much appreciated! XO
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
On being a cat mother...
Today was my last day of work...a day that I both equally rejoiced over and dreaded. Rejoice...for obvious reasons. Dread...because I literally had blocked off the entire day in 30 minute increments to finish projects, have final meetings, etc, etc.
So, of course it stands to reason that since this was my last day of work for two weeks...and I had an enormous amount to accomplish, that we would have a cat-astrophe when my beloved cat Carl started acting strangely. He was listless...wouldn't drink water...and seemed to be having a hard time going to the bathroom. We'd been down this road before and it ended in a lot of tears from me, an emergency trip to the vet and a big bill. Oh, and a cone for Carl's head.
I knew that it couldn't be avoided and that I would quickly have to get him an appointment. I sent a note to my assistant and boss letting them know that I had a cat emergency (they both have cats, luckily) and packed Carl up (but not before remembering to change out of my work clothes and into appropriate fur receptacle clothes. Cats shed A LOT when they are scared.) My family has been using the same vet for 20 years so luckily I was able to call the receptionist and beg for an early appointment.
The drive to the vet's office was...traumatic for both Carl and I. I cried the whole way there because I was sure that they were going to tell me that Carl needed to be put to sleep and Carl cried the whole way there because he's a cat. We were quite a pair. I arrived at the vet's office, mascara smeared, cat drool and hair all over me and walked inside. I was told that we would be seen 'right after the goat'. At that exact moment, I man walked in dragging a goat behind him. And dragging he was. That goat did not want to go anywhere. Apparently, he had some type of 'obstruction'. I didn't ask for details especially after the noises that came from the exam room.
While we waited, a three legged cat hopped its way over to Carl and exchanged what I interpreted to be a friendly bump of noses but Carl took it more as an aggressive threat...so the three legged cat retreated. Most of you probably don't know this, but as Nick will attest, I have a 'thing' for animals missing limbs, eyes, ears, etc. I'm always convinced that I'm the only one in the world that will possibly love them and I can't tell you how many times Nick has had to talk me out of taking on another one of my charity animal cases. Sigh...
At any rate, we were quick seen by a very wonderful and gentle vet who was able to take Carl in and put him on a course of treatment and assuaged my fears. In the meantime, I called Carl's 'grandma' (my mom) who generously offered to watch him while we are in St. Louis. I'm sure he'll be spoiled silly by the time we return and never want to come back.
The interesting part of this story is that ALL of the moms I told it to today (including my own) commented that this would be 'just a typical day' as a mom when we have kids. Minus the goat part, I presume.
So, of course it stands to reason that since this was my last day of work for two weeks...and I had an enormous amount to accomplish, that we would have a cat-astrophe when my beloved cat Carl started acting strangely. He was listless...wouldn't drink water...and seemed to be having a hard time going to the bathroom. We'd been down this road before and it ended in a lot of tears from me, an emergency trip to the vet and a big bill. Oh, and a cone for Carl's head.
I knew that it couldn't be avoided and that I would quickly have to get him an appointment. I sent a note to my assistant and boss letting them know that I had a cat emergency (they both have cats, luckily) and packed Carl up (but not before remembering to change out of my work clothes and into appropriate fur receptacle clothes. Cats shed A LOT when they are scared.) My family has been using the same vet for 20 years so luckily I was able to call the receptionist and beg for an early appointment.
The drive to the vet's office was...traumatic for both Carl and I. I cried the whole way there because I was sure that they were going to tell me that Carl needed to be put to sleep and Carl cried the whole way there because he's a cat. We were quite a pair. I arrived at the vet's office, mascara smeared, cat drool and hair all over me and walked inside. I was told that we would be seen 'right after the goat'. At that exact moment, I man walked in dragging a goat behind him. And dragging he was. That goat did not want to go anywhere. Apparently, he had some type of 'obstruction'. I didn't ask for details especially after the noises that came from the exam room.
While we waited, a three legged cat hopped its way over to Carl and exchanged what I interpreted to be a friendly bump of noses but Carl took it more as an aggressive threat...so the three legged cat retreated. Most of you probably don't know this, but as Nick will attest, I have a 'thing' for animals missing limbs, eyes, ears, etc. I'm always convinced that I'm the only one in the world that will possibly love them and I can't tell you how many times Nick has had to talk me out of taking on another one of my charity animal cases. Sigh...
At any rate, we were quick seen by a very wonderful and gentle vet who was able to take Carl in and put him on a course of treatment and assuaged my fears. In the meantime, I called Carl's 'grandma' (my mom) who generously offered to watch him while we are in St. Louis. I'm sure he'll be spoiled silly by the time we return and never want to come back.
The interesting part of this story is that ALL of the moms I told it to today (including my own) commented that this would be 'just a typical day' as a mom when we have kids. Minus the goat part, I presume.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
On being a pincushion
Sorry for the radio silence. I've been trying to fill up every single minute of my days with packing/preparing/finishing work/hanging out with friends/generally avoiding thinking about what's about to happen. So there's been that.
This weekend, I:
The nurse from our fertility clinic called this afternoon and said everything looks good and gave me my dosage instructions. Now, in addition to the Lupron, I'm taking Follistim (which comes in this very neat pen looking thing...my geeky office-supply loving self can't help but admire it) and very small doses of HCG. I rotated where I gave each of the shots, but between the needles and the bloodwork I've had to do, I'm starting to feel distinctly pin-cushion-esque. Some of you who know me well will recall that I'm not a good blood-giver. In fact, I've both 1) passed out, 2) thrown up on a nurse and 3) a combination of 1 and 2 on more than one occasion.
In an attempt to put a positive spin on things, though, I remembered when I was little that either my mom or grandma had a pincushion that was shaped like an apple with a happy face on it. So, I'm trying to be the happy apple pincushion. It's not easy, folks. It's hard out there for a pincushion.
One more day of work!!!
This weekend, I:
- Got my hair cut and colored because my IVF coordinator told me it's a good idea to get it done right now in case we are blessed enough to get pregnant this first time (and hair coloring is generally avoided in the 1st trimester)
- Bought a new pair of stretchy yoga pants on the advice of a good friend who's been through IVF...apparently I'm going to be a hot bloated mess.
- Went to Clinton Lake with Nick...he rode his bike...I hung out in the water.
- Had a marathon day with Jenni and Jill of church, lunch, swimming pool, hanging out and seeing Bad Teacher (very funny!) and then went to a BBQ with Nick
- Went swimming with Nick, made a mixed berry crumble and then went to another BBQ.
- Fell asleep at 7pm on Monday and in doing so, missed all of the fireworks. Not a big loss in my book.
The nurse from our fertility clinic called this afternoon and said everything looks good and gave me my dosage instructions. Now, in addition to the Lupron, I'm taking Follistim (which comes in this very neat pen looking thing...my geeky office-supply loving self can't help but admire it) and very small doses of HCG. I rotated where I gave each of the shots, but between the needles and the bloodwork I've had to do, I'm starting to feel distinctly pin-cushion-esque. Some of you who know me well will recall that I'm not a good blood-giver. In fact, I've both 1) passed out, 2) thrown up on a nurse and 3) a combination of 1 and 2 on more than one occasion.
In an attempt to put a positive spin on things, though, I remembered when I was little that either my mom or grandma had a pincushion that was shaped like an apple with a happy face on it. So, I'm trying to be the happy apple pincushion. It's not easy, folks. It's hard out there for a pincushion.
One more day of work!!!
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