All done!

Just got home from the egg retrieval...it went very well.  They were able to get 17 eggs which is exactly within the range we were hoping for.  The doctor said that even though it took longer he's much happier with the results of this cycle so far.  So now we wait for our daily embryo reports.

In the meantime, within arms reach - I have several bottles of water, a small breakfast from Panera (egg souffle!), my Nook, my laptop, my cell phone, and the TV remote.  Oh, and my pain meds and Tylenol.  I'm going to try and avoid taking any more of the pain meds because they make me feel sick but we'll see how it goes.  They did give me some Zofran this time for the nausea that I typically get after anaesthesia so that was nice.

And it wouldn't be a blog entry from me if there wasn't some vein-related issue.  Today, it took a nurse and two anaesthesiologists to get my IV in.  They seemed a little dumb-founded but I assured them it was me, not them. :)

Nurse Nick is telling me I need to sleep, so off I go!  XOXO

The One Where Nick and Sarah Catch a Break

Well, it took nearly a week longer than expected, but my follicles finally got to where they needed to be.  We had plenty of growth over the last four days (we had an 18mm, 17mm, and some 16mms, 15mms and 14mms) so we are on for a retrieval on Sunday.  My biggest concern was that I was going to be borderline and we'd be forced to make a decision.  I know we would have been conservative and cancelled the cycle, but still - being forced to make that decision isn't easy.  I was SO excited to see all the big follicles on the ultrasound; the doctor and I both knew immediately when he looked at the first ovary that things looked good.  I was exactly where he had hoped I would be and he estimates that I'll end up with 15-20 eggs from the retrieval...much better than the 35 I had last time. 

Although, even with as great as things looked, I did put on my best 'mean Sarah' face and quiz the doctor about whether he was absolutely 100% sure that we should go on with the cycle.   The doctor seemed nonplussed and assured me that we were in good shape.  Of course, I was doing this from the stirrups so perhaps my meanness didn't really come across as well as I intended. 

I was so delighted I didn't even mind when a new nurse decided to try and take my blood.  I sat there chattering happily until I noticed the needle was in my arm and nothing was coming out.  Sarah's Pathetic Veins Strike Again!  I told her to go get the 'good nurse' (I didn't call her that - I used her name)...this nurse has gotten me on the first try three times in a row and now I pretty much only want her to take the blood.  As predicted, she got it on the first try and I went on my merry way.  I still have to get the blood results back but there's no reason to think those will change the plans at this point.

Hooo---rrr----aaa---yyyy!!! (spell check just went crazy on this!)

Miscellany

• Just wanted to take a moment to brag on Nicholas.  He has been so amazing throughout this entire process but particularly during our most recent struggles.  I've been offered daily foot massages (he's been doing Internet research on how to relieve headaches with foot massages!), lots of extra help around the house and just general pampering and kindness.  He's also put up with a few irrational outbursts from me (i.e. yesterday when I was on the phone with him re: my car's check engine light being on which culminated in me screeching 'I just need it to be fixxxeeeeeedddddd!') without complaint or judgement. 
• Although to be fair, I have spent the last year being poked and prodded so that we may have a child together.  Daily foot massages seem about right.
• Someone asked me what else we did with the in-laws this past weekend, so briefly - Boulevard Brewery Tour (this is my favorite brewery tour EVER as their emphasis was on the sampling and not the touring), WWI museum, dinner at Jack Stack and drinks at Manifesto.  If you are in KC and haven't gone to Manifesto, you must.  It's a speakeasy in the basement of the Hotel Rieger restaurant and so much fun.  You have to text a phone number to get reservations and then you can enter by being buzzed in through an alley door (although we cheated and walked through the restaurant).  The drinks are truly amazing.  I had a 'Winter in Buenos Aires' which was both tropical and reminiscent of fall. 
• We also had this brunch lasagna on Easter Sunday.  I know - brunch lasagna?  I hadn't heard of it either but I was so intrigued that I just had to make it.  Unfortunately, I hadn't read the directions very closely and nearly missed the part about it needing to be made the NIGHT BEFORE you plan to eat it.  Luckily, my mother in law, Rose, and sister in law, Becky stepped in and helped me put it together...there were like a bazillion steps.  And pretty much the only breakfast food not represented was bacon.  Although I suppose you could add that if so inclined. :)  At any rate, it was divine.  I am still dreaming of it.
• Nick and I were so sad to see his family go, BUT we will be seeing them, as well as his younger brother and his wife, Dan and Lus, my mom and dad and my aunt and uncle ,in just about a month when we head to Memphis for the Memphis in May BBQ competition.  More to come on that later...
• I looked up my estradiol/follicle levels from my first cycle and I was at Day 12 where I was at Day 5 at our cycle in St. Louis with Silber.  You could take that as depressing, I suppose, but right after that Day 5 in St. Louis, my follicle growth sort of exploded so I'm hoping the same will happen again.  My doctor is calling this past Friday my 'new' Day 1 since the first week didn't count.  (not that I'm bitter or anything).
• On the agenda for tonight - forced relaxation!  I am trying really, really hard not to fuss around the house and just be quiet and still and breathe and focus on being zen and blah blah blah.  I read somewhere this weekend that stress is the enemy of follicle growth and so now, I'm going for the GOLD STAR OF RELAXATION.  Pretty much the best goal ever.

Quick update

Hello, all!

Just a quick note to say that the nurse called with my estradiol numbers yesterday and they have climbed up to 200, which is a good sign.  We still have a long way to go in the next few days but they are moving in the right direction.  And, I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable in my stomach and couldn't be more delighted.  Hopefully that means the follicles are growing.

Again, thanks for all your good thoughts, messages and phone calls!

XO

Chanelling Goldilocks

I had another follicle check and bloodwork this morning.  The news is...fair to middlin'.  Of the 12-15 follicles I have on each ovary, only about 4-5 total (both ovaries) grew beyond 10mm.  They ranged from 11mm-14mm.  The doctor was hoping to see a lot of 15-16mm follicles.   So, the new plan is potentially an increased dose of the stims (again...this will the third time we've increased) and my retrieval has been pushed back (again) to either Saturday or Sunday at the earliest.  I will go back for another follicle check and bloodwork on Thursday.  If the doctor sees good growth at that point, we will continue on with the cycle.  If they are still not growing, we'll cancel the cycle.   I am as okay as I can be with the idea of cancelling the cycle.  On the one hand, it is such a psychological blow.  It's just more waiting and being anxious.   And it just takes so much mental, spiritual and physical energy.   However, I also don't want to proceed with a cycle that isn't set up for success.  So, if the cycle gets cancelled, we'll just have to pay for the meds and ultrasounds/bloodwork we've had to this point again.  Which is annoying, but again - the important thing is that the cycle is successful, so we will put up with whatever we have to in order for it to happen. 

I still am a little bewildered that where I have responded TOO MUCH in prior cycles, I'm now not responding enough.  I feel like Goldilocks...I need to find the 'just right' dose of stims.  Thanks for all the good thoughts!  Here's hoping I start feeling really, really uncomfortable in the next couple of days...it will be a good sign. :)

There's no crying (or winning) in IVF

Does anyone remember that song by Soul Asylum - "Frustrated, Incorporated"?  Yeah, that is kind of where I am at right now.  I had my follicle check yesterday morning and my follicles had barely grown.  Grrr.  This new protocol has me on a lower dose of stims since I've over stimulated previously...I had, like, the Jackie Joyner Kersee of ovaries...sprinting to the finish.  This time, they are poking along like...well, me, if I had to run against Jackie Joyner Kersee.  Adding to my stress, my estradiol levels dropped which the nurse and doctor told me can happen when I added in the ganirelix but it  is still a psychological blow.  

What does all of this mean?  My retrieval is being pushed back from either Tuesday/Wednesday to Thursday/Friday.  In addition, my RE is increasing the dosage of my stims.   I had to order more medications in order to make it that long.   So more days of being uncomfortable and anxious.  And re-arranging my work schedule.  That part actually stresses me out quite a bit...it's hard to call volunteers and say, 'uh, I need to reschedule our meeting because I have slow ovaries'.  Hooray!  

In 'let's focus on the positive' news, my RE did say that on this protocol the danger of over stimulating is almost non-existent which for me means that they can continue to stim me as long as needed to get where I need to be.  It's not a sprint, it's a marathon, blah blah blah.   I just need these damn follicles to grow. 

Nick has been very supportive and encouraging.  We are both scared and anxious but hoping for the best.  Luckily, we had a lot of distraction yesterday.  His parents and brother and sister-in-law are all visiting us for Easter.  Yesterday, we checked out the Titanic exhibit at Union Station (you'll be pleased to know that I refrained from forcing any of my in-laws to re-create Jack and Rose's 'I'm on top of the world' scene on the front of the ship) and then had an amazing lunch at Gram and Dun.  I have been eating really well lately in an attempt to reduce some of my bloating and discomfort.  That sort of went out the window yesterday but I figured I had earned it.   My sister-in-law Becky and I shared the beer can chicken sandwich  and chicken and waffles.  Yum.  Then we all sort of carb crashed and headed home for a nap.  We stayed in last night and made dinner.  Nick did a stuffed pork loin and salmon on the grill and I made some roasted potatoes and our favorite spinach salad.  My parents joined us and my mom brought an amazing tiramisu that I'm currently trying to pretend isn't in the refrigerator and wouldn't make a great breakfast.

Lots of fun stuff today planned so I'm off!  Please send some good thoughts our way! XO

Anxiety can be excellent motivation

I've had a lot of nervous energy the last few weeks...a lot.  Sure, I've been doing all of the things I'm supposed to - deep breathing, acupuncture, meditating, etc etc etc.  I even found my way to an infertility therapist and she's been helping with some additional relaxation techniques (sidenote: she told me I was surprisingly well-adjusted and self-aware for someone who has been trying to get pregnant for so long...even in therapy, I get a gold star!).

The upside of all this nervous energy is that I've been fairly productive at work and home.  Mostly the latter, though.  I've cleaned closets and drawers, re-arranged shelves, hung artwork, taken FIVE boxes of books to the Goodwill, hung curtains, and just generally puttered and fussed around the house.  In fairness, part of this is because of a couple of events I'm hosting at the house, but it has certainly helped keep my mind occupied.  

In fact, as I type this, I'm taking a break from cleaning the linen closet.  And...I just ironed pillowcases, which I almost never do.  But Nick's family is coming to visit this weekend and I was getting one of the spare beds ready, I noticed the pillowcase was pretty wrinkly, so I started to iron it.  Fast forward 45 minutes later and I had ironed ALL the pillowcases in the house.   Haberbergers - I hope you enjoy your pillowcases.  :)  We've got a lot of fun stuff planned this weekend, so I'm looking forward to it...and the distraction.

Oh, I suppose you want an IVF update, too.  Not a lot new.  I'm still uncomfortable, although it seems to be much worse at night.  I actually got up around 3am and couldn't go back to sleep.  It's much better during the day.  Last night I added an additional injection called ganirelex.  It's the drug that prevents premature ovulation to ensure all my follicles can continue to grow.  It is my favorite injection to this point as it comes in a pre-filled syringe and involves almost no work on my part.  Tomorrow morning I go for another follicle check and blood draw to see where my hormones are at.  Fingers crossed all goes well!