Monday Morning Quarterback

At the risk of sounding like what the title implies...Nick and I have spent a lot of time talking this weekend and here's where we are at.  We may still meet with Dr. Silber in St. Louis to get as much information from him as we can.  But our next cycle will be local and we've already set up an appointment for a few weeks from now.  We're hoping our next cycle can take place this fall...October is my favorite month of the year so that feels lucky to me. :)

Here's why...Dr. Silber is amazing...he has incredible success rates and frozen embryo transfer rates that are simply unheard of.  He uses cutting edge technology and is a leader amongst fertility specialists in the world.

He also sees 600 couples per year for IVF.  To put it in perspective, the fertility clinics in KC are seeing 150-300 couples.  When we are honest with ourselves, in our heart of hearts, we know that because we were an 'easy' case for him (remember...he doesn't turn anyone away and takes on very difficult cases), we may not have gotten the time or thoughtfulness that some of his other patients do.  In fairness to him, a lot of people with our exact set of issues do the same protocol that we did and end up pregnant or with embryos to freeze or both.  Unfortunately, we didn't.  And I think if they had been paying more attention in the beginning of our stimulation, we could have had a different outcome.

I know that sounds like 'hindsight is 20-20'...and to an extent, you're right.  But what it also is...is a true understanding of the process.  You can read and talk to people who've been through IVF all you want...but it's not a substitute for actually going through it.  We understand it SO much more than before and you better believe we have a list of questions for our next doctor that's a mile long.  I do believe that, regardless of the medical condition, you have to be an advocate for yourself and family members (my mother taught me that actually...thanks, mom!)

We weren't really afraid to ask Dr. Silber questions...but his credentials are intimidating.  And it's easy to put your trust in someone whose results really speak for themselves.   Next time will be different.  And, as I think I said before, while most clinics have 50-60% success rates for IVF...the success rate for a FIRST cycle of IVF is 35%.  I had heard that statistic before, but I understand it all too well now.

So, there you have it...that's the plan.  This was kind of a boring post, so I'll try to think of something a wee bit more fun next time.  People keep asking me how I'm feeling and I keep saying the same thing - sad, but hopeful.  I thought if we didn't get pregnant this first cycle, we would be crushed.  Turns out Nick and I - we don't crush that easily...I believe my mother compared us to Hercules. :)

Oh, and I've already thought of what we're going to call our next (awesome and incredible) embryos...the MIGHTY Ducks.  Screw luck...we need might.  :)